


The Paladin

by Cryosic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Loss, Love, Nightmares, PTSD, Set Post Endgame, Slow Burn, Torture, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 32
Words: 38,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21936154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryosic/pseuds/Cryosic
Summary: When Cal meets another Jedi it could change the lives of every one on the Mantis.Also quick warning I did not proofread this story so sorry
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Merrin, Original Male Character/Original Female Character
Comments: 82
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first real fanfic so please go easy on me, the characters may be off because I don’t really know how to write them also please let me know if you want more of this story

Cal had been across the galaxy to escape the empire, sometimes it felt like he could never stop. He thought he had seen everything. But he had never seen something quite like this before. It began when entering a market located on Jedha looking for supplies, the planet had a Imperial presence but they had no choice but to risk it being so low on supplies. He kept his head down past patrols and guards waiting for someone to call out for him to stop and surrender, and eventually he heard it. It just wasn’t directed at him. In the middle of the row ahead a tall man in rough clothes and a sheaf around his neck and shoulders being surrounded by stormtroopers pointing blasters at him. Cal stopped to watch knowing he should run back to the mantis. But for some reason he couldn’t force himself to move and could only watch in horror as they closed in on him. Suddenly the man sprang to life igniting a long purple lightsaber and quickly delivering an immensely powerful sweep cutting down 5 troopers at a time. He quickly turned around and pushed one of the remaining trooper into the other two. But as the man turned to run more troopers blocked his path.  
“This Way!” Cal called to the man.  
Who turned towards the sound of his voice and ran towards cal who began to lead him through the narrow streets towards the mantis. cutting down a few stormtroopers on the way with his own lightsaber. Only a few hundred feet away from the mantis they were blocked off by a whole platoon of storm troopers.  
The troopers made a hole which through a male inquisitor walked through.  
“Siv Tariq surrender now, or face death by my hand!” The inquisitors face was covered by a full helmet as usual  
“You really want to take me on 8!” Siv called back in a echoing voice while reigniting that purple lightsaber. It was at least a foot longer than Cals and had a long two handed hilt.  
As the stormtroopers began to slowly advance Siv suddenly drove his lightsaber into the ground sending out a shockwave into the oncoming attackers throwing them all to the ground. He righted himself and ran past the fallen troops. Cal noticed the inquisitor was curiously nowhere to be seen. Cal used his com link to warn Greez about their arrival and they both dove onto the ship as it began to take off. Heads hanging low they breathed hard through their mouths, sweat running off their faces.  
“It seems you have made a new friend.” Merrin called out from her seat on the booth. Cere entered the main quarters from the cockpit at the sound of Merrins voice.  
“Guys,” cal called out “this is Siv Tariq, Siv this is the crew of the mantis.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cal and the crew of the mantis begin to learn about Sivs Past

They spent hours leeching information out of Siv from what they knew he was a newly appointed Jedi knight by the time of the purge. Despite his large frame and booming voice he was only several years older than Cal.

He had been on Mygeeto working under Master Ki-Adi-Mundi with a small detachment of Galactic Marines as the order came down. He managed to defeat his group of troopers single handedly, but not without suffering a blaster bolt to his leg. He was able to escape off world on a stolen separatist ship and escape to the outer rim. From there he hopped planets before being captured by the empire and brought to the Fortress Inquisitorius, it was at this point he had clammed up. 

Cal had the notion like Cere he has used the dark side of the force to escape and may still carry some shame. After escaping the fortress he hid on Jedha before being discovered once again in the market. And that’s where Cal came in 

“I’m very sorry that you had to experience that torture.” Cere told Siv after he finished his story empathy coating her words.

“Having being captured opened my mind to the true nature of the force.” Siv had barely whispered the words but everyone had heard it Cere and Cal exchanged a nervous glance.

“I know what you’re thinking” Siv interjected. “But I’ve not fallen, I have truly balanced the force within myself.” Cal relaxed before leaning towards the man sitting across from him.

“Just as a torch must cast flame the light side of the force cannot exist without the dark.” He pauses and looked down at his hands before falling into silence. “I understand your worries about my power and will understand if you would be rid of me at the next star port.” He waited for their response stoically 

“No.” Cal said “with the Jedi Order gone we’re all that’s left of the Jedi, who’s to say what is right in wrong as long as you follow your morality. Siv smiled before standing.  
“Thank you, I am most grateful for your help and further support. But I must rest in order to be of any use.” Cal stood as well and moved to guide Siv to his new quarters.  
“Of course follow me we have an extra room right over here.” As Siv entered the room cal returned to the rest of the crew.  
“What do you think of him?” Cere prodded  
“I trust him” cal stated immediately  
“If Cal trusts him then so do I.” Cal was thankful for Merrin’s support.  
Cere nodded. “Then I suppose we will see what happens.


	3. Chapter 3

They were back on Kashyyyk it has been decided they would help the Wookiee freedom fighters to rid the empire from their planet. The crew had planned their rendezvous with Chieftain Tarfful and Mari Kosan. And it was decided that Cal and Siv would go help the Wookiees while the rest of the crew defended the ship. Merrin wasn’t comfortable with the wildlife of Kashyyyk saying it was much more feral that that of Dathomir. 

The two Jedi were getting ready to disembark from the mantis. Cal had said goodbye to Cere and Greez, and was about to do the same for merrin when she rushed into his arms burying her head into his shoulder.

“Don’t do anything to get yourself killed.” She quickly drew back from him with a slight blush on her face.

“I’ll be careful I promise.” Cal said with a smile. He looked at Siv and noticed a shadow of pain covering his face. But before he could say anything about it it was gone replaced with a look of indifference.

“Alright let’s go Siv.” He grunted in reply and stepped off the ramp into the small clearing the mantis had landed into he made his way towards the edge of the jungle. Cal hesitated and looked back at the mantis for a second before turning back and following Siv into the dense undergrowth.

It didn’t take them long to find the Wookie resistance. Partially due to the fight raging at an imperial installment the two Jedi looked at each other, ignited their lightsabers and joined the fray. 

Cal didn’t see much of Siv during the fight but what he did see impressed him the man was a powerhouse able to rain blow upon blow to the enemies. At one point a scout trooper was fortunate enough to block an overhead strike that would have cleaved him in half. The downside was that it knocked him to his knees from the sheer force of the attack, it had even bent the staff into an obtuse angle where the saber had caught. The trooper however didn’t have long to celebrate his life as Siv used the moment to spin his lightsaber and swing it under hand into the troopers crotch and halfway up his body. 

As the battle began to decline a small TIE fighter sped its way into orbit and landed near the battle field. Out of it climbed the same inquisitor from Jehda.

Siv saw this ship and called to Cal

“Don’t worry about him I’ll take him!” Cal tried to call back to tell him to wait for his help but it was lost over the din of the battle.

He watched as they came to a halt several feet away from each other. The inquisitor called our to Siv but Cal could not hear what he said. The Eighth Brother then ignited his lightsaber the red light reflecting off his armor. 

The Eight Brother rushes Siv with incredible speed but he was able to dodge out of the way kicking the inquisitor in the back as he went past him. The Eighth Brother not expecting the extra boost lost his footing and fell flat on his stomach. Before Siv had a chance to close the gap the inquisitor was back on his feet hurling abuse towards Siv. Cal was able to make his way closer just as they began their fight in earnest. 

Blades flashing mere inches from the combatants bodies it was a series of blocks and counter attacks with no real ground being gained or lost. Siv’s face was blank as he fought he didn’t speak or even make a sound as the fight progressed. The Eighth brother however was anything but silent. Screaming so loudly the voice modifier made him indecipherable. 

The Eighth Brother was beginning to tire his attacks becoming more erratic and sloppy. Cal was now close enough to hear his ragged breath echoing in his helmet. He had stopped yelling now and was focused on not losing this fight. Siv blocked a counter strike and their blades were locked. 

“Whatever happened to that sweet little girlfriend of yours?” The inquisitor gloated “she didn’t survive the escape did she?”  
The Eighth brother began to laugh hysterically as Siv’s face was filled with pure rage and hatred 

“NO!” Cal screamed but it was too late. Siv broke the lock and immediately swung back down onto the inquisitors lightsaber. He swung again and again forcing the Eight brother to his knees as blow upon blow rained down onto his blade. Siv kicked him in the chest before sweeping his blade around him in an arc and cutting straight through his chest. The body of the inquisitor fell to the ground lifeless and steaming from the saber wound. Siv retracted his saber and sat on the ground where he stood. Cal was final able to get to his fellow Jedi. 

“Are you alright, are you hurt!” Cal quickly examined him and found not a single scratch on his body. He looked into the the eyes of his friend and saw tears pouring down the jedi’s face and clouding his eyes. 

“I miss her so much.” And with those final words the battle was over and Cal was left to comfort his new friend in the deafening silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how much do we really know about Sivs past huh. what’s true what’s a lie.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys want a really good Cal Merrin fanfic and you haven’t already read poison control what are you doing with your life

They sat across from each other, a fire in between them they hadn’t spoken yet about what had happened and tension ran tight between them. Finally Siv broke the silence.

“You heard what he said didn’t you?” Cal looked up from the fire spots still dancing in his eyes 

“Yes.” He understood why Siv had lied to them and honestly he couldn’t blame him but it still hurt.

“I owe you an apology... and an explanation.” Cal said nothing. He just waited for Siv to tell him the truth. 

“I wasn’t alone after the purge I had someone very close to me during my escape from Mygeeto, too close, especially for two Jedi. We were in love.” Cal’s heart ached for Siv, he no longer seemed large imposing and strong, instead he was like a small child timid and afraid.

“She was hurt during the purge and was very weak for a long time after that. She had just begun her recovery when the inquisitors caught us.” His voice began to choke and catch with emotion. “They- they tortured her in front of me. I used the dark side of the force to break her free, but as we were escaping... An inquisitor... That inquisitor killed her.” He stopped again unable to escape the memories of the past, Cal was about to tell him it wasn’t his fault when he started again.

“I tried fighting him off but I didn’t have a lightsaber and I was weak from weeks of torture. He grabbed her and stabbed her right in front of me.” Cal had a lump in his throat. Siv reached into his bag and pulled out a second lightsaber much smaller than his own. “This was Zara’s she was so beautiful and kind and she didn’t deserve an ounce of pain or suffering, especially not at the hand of those monsters.” He handed the lightsaber to cal and the moment his fingers brushed the metal he felt oceans of emotions around him. 

He saw a younger smiling Siv with a short teal skinned Twi’lik her eyes shining with a smile at Siv. He saw them fighting together against droids, Siv looked conflicted. He saw the two falling in love and sharing small moments of affection while no one was watching. He felt the betrayal by their clones. The pain and fear of being in the run. But ultimately he felt the safety and assuredness that she felt around Siv, she was always safe with him.

He came back to the present and handed back the saber to the Jedi across the fire. He wore a haunted look on his face. 

“I failed her.” He said in misery

“No. You loved her you tried to keep her safe as best you could. You aren’t to blame for this.” He knee regardless of what he said his friend would always blame himself for the loss of her life. Just as Cal blamed himself for losing his master. They weren’t so different the two of them. 

He told Siv his own story from the beginning to the moment they met. 

“The force brought us together, I know it. We have to be strong for those we lost or else their sacrifice was for nothing.” Siv ran a hand across his face.

“You’re right.” He sat straighter and looked Cal in the eye. “Do you think she would still love me.” He may have looked more like the Siv Cal knew but he still had that Small voice. 

“Of course she would.” with that Siv smiled. 

“The Nightsister.”

“Merrin?” Cal asked confused

“Yes, you care deeply for her.” Cal was flustered how had he known.

“I- I don-“

“Tell her. You can’t let something like that go to waste.” 

With that he stood and left Cal, his face burning and joined a partisan on the night watch. Cal thought about what he said. Cal thought about he and Merrin. And he kept thinking about he and Merrin until he fell asleep. And when he did finally drift off he had a smile on his face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally worked in some Cal and Merrin just some light comfort fluff but I feel like they deserve it

The two Jedi spent 3 weeks in the forests of kashyyyk with Tarfful and his band of resistance fighters before they got the transmission from Cere.

“Cal are you there?” Her voice crackling over the intercom

“Yeah we’re here, what’s up?” They both stopped to listen to what the older woman had to say. 

“We’ve picked up some transmissions regarding Jedi on kashyyyk, the empire is likely to send troops our way.” Cal looked at Siv and they both nodded and began the the long trek back to the Mantis

“We’re on our way have the ship ready for us.” 

“You got it.” The two Jedi covered ground as quickly as possible managing to avoid most of the dangerous fauna. They were nearly to the clearing before they heard the ear splitting scream of tie fighters.

“We’re too late.” Cal said with immense worry.

“No! We can still get off this rock before they can hurt our crew.” 

They burst through the plant life into the clearing where the first wave of troopers was waiting. The two Jedi ignited their lightsabers without a word and charged in.

Cal reflected a blaster bolt back at the unfortunate storm trooper. He met the first of scout troopers who swung an electro staff at him partying the staff and throwing the trooper of balance he swung a saber across his midsection. Moving onto the next trooper he quickly dispatched him by activating Ceres switch and left two crossing lines of molten duraplast and burning flesh. He dashed towards the next combatant and ran him through with his saber. A thermal detonater rolled at his feet and he quickly pushed it into the small band of stormtroopers to his left. The screams confirming his aim. After the first wave of troopers, a tie interceptor began landing Cal nervously glanced at Siv. That was an inquisitors ship. Just as the thought crossed his mind a figure crawled out of the ship. The first thing he noticed was the blue skin and Leku. The second thing he saw was the inquisitors armor. It was at that point he came to the sinking conclusion that he knew this Twi’lek. It was Zara. 

Cal quickly looked at Siv he had gone pale, he shook slightly. He closed the distance between himself and Siv and stood next to him facing the new combatant. 

“Z-Zara?” Cal could hear the wavering in his voice. He still held hope she was the same girl he loved.

“I am the Eighth Sister you will kneel before me and face your death at my hands.” She was the replacement for the Eighth Brother. Cal watched Siv’s face change from hopeful to shock, to Horror.

“N-No! Zara It’s me Siv.” He could feel the pain in his friends voice.

“Oh I remember you, I could never forget.” She paused “You left me to die at the hands of the empire!” Rage filled her voice. Cal couldn’t was shocked. She truly believed he had left her on purpose.

“No! No! You were dead I saw you die I-I had to leave your body so I could escape. I never knew you were still alive.”

“Stop your excuses so I can lob your head off your shoulders!” At that she threw herself towards the waiting Jedi lightsaber igniting in the air. Cal ignited his own lightsaber and got out of the way. Siv still hadn’t moved. Cal used the force to pull him to safety. 

Siv finally realized what was going on but didn’t draw his lightsaber. 

“Zara stop it’s me!”

“I know!” She swung her lightsaber towards his head he jumped back 

“Please stop I never meant to leave you!” Siv was desperate now his voice breaking at each word.

“Weak! You’re just as weak now as you were on Mygeeto!”

“Please Zara I love you!” This caused her to stop.

“Liar!” She snarled at him her pretty face twisted with hate and rage.

Siv stopped and would have been killed if Cal hadn’t pushed her back into a tree stunning her. Cal grabbed Siv and dragged him onto the Mantis before shouting to Greez to take off. He dropped Siv onto the bench where he curled up on himself and began to shake. 

Merrin came into out of the cockpit and threw herself at Cal who caught her and held her tight. She drew back and looked over the Jedi.

“Are you alright Cal, are you hurt I was worried we might lose you.” Her face was very close to Cals.

“U-Uh yeah I’m f-fine.” He stammered our flustered by the close quarters. His face felt hot and he was sure it was very red. She pulled him back into the hug. He wrapped his arms around her as the ship lurched into hyper space. 

A shuddering breath brought his attention back to Siv. He looked at Merrin 

“Is there anything you could do to calm him?” He knew his friend needed rest but he couldn’t get any in this state. 

“Yes I know a simple relaxant that is very fast working.” She moved to the kitchen and began mixing herbs into a cup of tea.

She returned moments later and crouched next to Siv. She spoke gently to him and raised the cup to his shaking lips. He drank the fluid and began to visibly relax. Merrin smoothed his hair on his head and he began to slowly drift off to sleep murmuring gibberish. 

Cal and Merrin sat on the opposite bench watching the Jedi sleep.

“You look like you could use some of this as well.” she held the cup towards him. He took it from her and took a deep draft. Already his eyes began to feel heavy and a sense of deep peace filled his body.

Merrin scooter over and laid his head into her lap. She ran her fingers through his sweat damp hair 

Her voice came to him as though through a long tunnel. 

“Sleep well Cal Kestis.” He looked up into her face and smiled.

He tried his best to ask her to stay. It came out very muffled and nearly indecipherable, but she understood.

“Of course I’ll stay.” And then darkness overtook his senses


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent a really long time going through the lore cause looking for a specific bar only to realize it doesn’t even have a name so I went with a different place all together. Enjoy

Cal awoke on the mantis his head still in Merrin’s lap. Her fingers still gently entangled in his hair. She was asleep her head leaning against the edge of the bench. 

He quietly removed him self from Merrin a slight blush on his face and laid his poncho over her sleeping form. He walked to the cockpit and found Cere and Greez quietly discussing what their next plan of action should be.

“We only have enough fuel for one more jump.” He heard Greez say. Outside the cockpit showed the infinite universe in front of them the darkness broken only by the stars.

“We need more fuel but if we show up they’ll be waiting for us and we’ll never make it out of whatever system we choose.” Cere looked deep in thought trying to determine the best course of action.

“I know where we can get more fuel without the empire knowing.” Greez cursed startled by Cals voice.

“Where would that be?” Cere had likely sensed his presence.

“Nar Shaddaa, I know someone there who owes me a favor.” 

“And you’re sure they’re trustworthy.” He thought for a moment.

“Yes. Tabbers owes me big time. I saved his life on on Bracca three separate times.” 

“The to Nar Shaddaa we will go. Captain set a course.” He heard Greez mumble acknowledgement. And they jumped into hyper space blue flooding the cockpit. 

Cal walked back to the bench Merrin was sleeping at he sat down next to her. She shifted in her sleep and slowly slid down until she was leaning against him. Her head rested against his shoulder her hands grabbing onto his vest. 

He smiled and slowly set his arm around her shoulders looking up he saw Siv still laying down but very awake. 

He was staring at him and Merrin with a look of longing on his face cal began to remove his arm when a shake of Siv’s head stopped him. 

“You too deserve this.” The voice was so quiet and hoarse Cal almost hadn’t heard it. Siv stood and walked towards the cockpit. He heard he and Cere talking and closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth and feel of Merrin’s body against his own.

A large bump startled Cal out of his slumber. Merrin was also awoken and she quickly removed herself from Cal with a mumbled apology and didn’t make eye contact with Cal.

“It’s alright Merrin I don’t mind.” She moved to return the poncho to cal.

“Keep it I have plenty.” Besides it looked better on her than it ever had on him. 

“Thank you.” She cleared her throat “where are we.” 

“Nar Shaddaa it’s a planet on the outer rim full of smugglers and criminals.”

“I think I will stay on board in that case.” 

“Probably a good idea, hopefully we won’t be here long.” All they had to do was find Tabbers and get some fuel.

“Ah Cal you’re awake. We decided you and Siv should go planet side and look for your friend Tabbers.” He nodded. 

“Sounds good to me.” He looked at Siv “I’m ready now if you are I say the quicker we’re off this cesspool the better.” 

“I agree the force feels... tainted here.”

“I know what you mean.” 

The two Jedi stepped off the ramp onto the platform. There were lights all around them. It almost reminded cal of Courasant, if Courasant was covered in grime and filth as well as being filled with criminals and untrustworthy characters.

They began their search at the nearest cantina. 

“Who are we looking for?” Siv asked before they entered.

“His name is Tabbers he’s a Quarren. Tan skin and only three tentacles.” He could still see the Quarren ugly face in his head. Tabbers owed him multiple favors but Cal didn’t like the man. He was crass, rude, and self important. 

The inside of the Cantina wasn’t much better than the street outside. He walked to the bar and waited for the bartender to come his way.

“What can I get you.” The bartender was Dug. Walking in the counter and holding a filthy rag in his foot. 

“Looking for friend. Names Tabbers, Quarren you know him?” The Dug thought for a moment.

“Even if I knew why should I tell you?” Siv came forward and set a couple of credits on the counter. 

“We’ll make it worth your while.” The duh smiled. 

“Now we’re talking. Yeah I know Tabbers. He’s down at Rimmers Rest drinking away all of his credits.” 

“Thank you.” The two turned and strode our of the cantina into the rancid streets.

“Sounds like we’re headed to Rimmers Rest.”

It didn’t take them long to find the Cantina and while they did get some weird looks it was mostly due to Cals red hair and Siv’s large stature. 

Once inside they began to search for Tabbers. They found him sitting at a table with sevral other patrons one of which a Twi’lek he was trying his best to woo. Of course he was far too inebriated to muster any charm. 

The girl made a disgusted face slapped Tabbers and fled the table. Cal moved to the side to allow her an easier passage. She brushed against him seductively and beckoned him to follow her. Cal turned back to the drunk Quarren sitting in the booth.

“Tabbers I need to cash in on they favor.” He looked up at a cal his face narrowing in confusion. 

“Do I know you?” He asked in the harsh grating tone of the squid people.

“It’s Cal, Cal Kestis.” The look of confusion cleared from Tabbers face. 

“Ah Prauf’s boy,” he laughed “How is that old scrapper?” Cals face tightened as he recalled the fate of his old friend. 

“He’s fine.” Cal lied 

“Well what do you need then my old friend?” Cal nearly scoffed they were far from friends, but Tabbers in his drunken state was misremembering many of their interactions.

“I need fuel for my ship. And I need it quietly.” The Quarren frowned. 

“I can do that for you just let me get a small crew together.” Cal gave the Quarren their pad number and they made their way back to the ship.

As they passed through the trash filled streets Cal saw a flash of white. 

“Storm troopers.” He hissed to Siv they both kept their heads down and tried to cross the patrol. 

“They must really want us dead if they’re willing to risk Hut Space.” They were almost past them when a Besalisk reached out to grab both of the Jedi.

“Over here I found the Jedi!” The stormtroopers immediately began to close in on them. Siv drew his light saber and cut off one of the Besalisk’s arms. The man screamed and let go of Cal and Siv. 

They both drew their lightsabers as the crowd cleared from the street leaving only the Jedi and troopers. Cal and Siv met the first of the scouts.

An electro staff swung towards Cal’s head he caught the troopers arm and pulled, taking the trooper off balance and slicing across his waist. The staff got much heavier as the trooper fell call dropped it and moved to the next combatant. 

The next trooper swung at him, he blocked the strike kicked the trooper in the chest and swung up across his chest. Sending the trooper to the ground as another took his place.

He blocked a jab pulled him over his shoulder and rolled the trooper over his back, just in time for the blade to swing through him.

Blocking a blaster bolt and reflecting a second one. The final trooper was behind the others. Cal ran towards the trooper jumping, spinning in midair and bringing his lightsaber down onto the enemy.

He looked at Siv as he pulled a trooper towards him catching him with his blade then shoving him to the ground. 

“That’s the last of them! Let’s go!” They continued the run back towards the ship.

They came to a stop as two Purge trooper came into the alley way they now occupied. Both had Electro Batons 

“Baton Troopers!” Cal called out to Siv as he finished off his regular storm troopers.

“Die Jedi!” The two advanced swinging their batons in a blur of purple crackling energy. 

Cal blocked several swipes and then dodged out of the way of his backhand. He swung and ignited his other saber moving into a spin move and catching the purge trooper off guard. As the trooper stumbled back he threw his lightsaber. It stuck into the troopers chest and he used the force to pull it out. 

Siv’s had been unfortunate enough that his head caught a low hanging pipe as he moved forward to finish the trooper off and was slightly dazed.

The Purge trooper saw this as his chance and went for a killing blow. Cal used the force to push him into the wall and stabbed him through the stomach. Cal helped Siv to his feet and they resumed their trek to the mantis. 

They made it to the landing pad with no further complications, they found Tabbers finishing up the fueling process with his crew. He stumbled over to Cal. 

“Cal I just finished refilling your ship.” He turned towards the Mantis. “And she is a gorgeous ship how’d you get this thing anyways? How’d you make it off Bracca anyway?” Cal swallowed this is exactly what they didn’t need.

“Oh you know I got a good find managed to buy my way off.” Cal said nervously. The Quarren’s eyes Narrowed. 

“So those flyers about you being a Jedi have nothing to do getting off that scrap pile.” 

Cal noticed the crew he had with him pulling out blasters. Cal felt a bead of sweat run down his temple. 

“Tabbers, you still owe me from Bracca remember. I saved your sorry hide. Three times.” He looked deep into his old coworkers eyes. Feigning a confidence he didn’t have.

“So you’re going to turn around go back to your cantina and you’re going to forget you ever saw me.” Tabbers scowled and Cal wondered how much that life debt would get him.

“Fine. But that debt is now paid. I never want to see you again.” He stuck his hand out. Cal took it 

“Deal.” Tabbers turned and left his crew following him away from the landing pad. He walked up the ramp of the mantis Siv following behind. 

“Let’s get off this stink hole Greez.” The ship began to lift.

“You got it buddy.” Cal went back to his quarters and lay down on his cot. He laid his forearm over his eyes and tried to relax. He heard a knock on the door after several minutes.

“Come in.” The door slid open and cal didn’t need to see who it was to tell it was Merrin. 

“Are you alright Cal?” she sat down on the edge of the cot.

“Yeah I’m fine, just tired is all.” He finally removes his arm from his face and looked at Merrin her pretty face had an expression of deep concern. 

“Can I lay with you?” Her face was slightly pink as she asked he smiled at her.

“Sure but there’s not much room.” He scooted over as much as he could. She climbed onto the cot laying on her side against his body her head on his chest. 

He wrapped an arm around her and brought he closer. 

“Is this for you or for me?” He asked it as a joke but she considered it seriously 

“Why can it not be for both of us.” She smiled at him and he smiled back. 

They ended up laying like that for several hours both half asleep and comforted in the others presence.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas guys my present to you is two chapters that break quadruple digits. And yes I know it’s a pretty crappy gift I’m sorry

He was on Bracca. His mind always brought him back to his days after the purge. The moments when he was certain he’d be discovered and killed. He was young this time. Only 16 he’d been scrapping for only a year or so. He knew that the other scrappers didn’t like him. He was young so some of the higher ups took pity on him paying him for work he didn’t do.

And then of course Prauf. Prauf treated him like a son always helping him out feeding him and clothing him. He had better circumstances to them and that bred resentment. It wasn’t bad at first. Just a couple of shoves and a trip here and there. But it began to progress. Although it began to die down, that should have been the first warning. He didn’t realize what it was accumulating towards. He was working Prauf was in another sector that day. Maybe that’s what they were waiting for. His music booming in his ears kept him from hearing their approach. He was only alerted to their presence when his headphones were yanked off of his head. 

“Hey!” He stopped when he realized he was surrounded, it was those most vocal about his unfair treatment. 

“It’s time you learnt a lesson.” He wasn’t sure who said it but it was the catalyst for what was to come.

Rough hands grabbed him from several directions steadying him before the blows began to rain upon him. It began as fists. Then progressed to scrap metal, knees booted feet thick sections of cables. 

They beat him until he was on the verge of unconsciousness. He could feel large painful bruises beginning to form. They hit hard enough to cause immense pain but never enough break his ribs or rupture organs.

After what felt like hours they finally dropped him. He couldn’t breath, tears ran freely down his face. The combination of his sobs and pain in breathing ensured that he couldn’t get air into his lungs. With one final whip of a cable across his face. They left him

They left him there through a haze of pain. Blood poured down his face from his nose into his mouth and down his chin. he saw Tabbers standing nearby he had been there before too. Before the attack. Tabbers was well respected he could have stopped the attack at any point.

“Help... me... please.” Every word sent pain through his body. Tabbers looked at him and walked away leaving Cal laying in the cold rain. 

Cal awoke in a cold sweat breathing heavily. Merrin had her legs on either side of him her hands on his face clearly trying to wake him. 

“Cal you are awake you were thrashing about.” He blinked back the tears in his eyes. 

“S-Sorry bad dream.” She raised an eyebrow.

“Clearly. What was it about?” He stuttered through what happened in his dream her hands slowly caressed his face throughout his story. 

He was very aware of their position and tried his best to ignore the intimacy of it. He finished his story and she gently traced her finger across the scar on his nose.

“I am sorry you had to suffer through such horrible conditions.” She gently crawled off of Cal. And laid back down next to him. She took his hand between two of her own. 

“It wasn’t all bad.” She cocked her head.

“What do you mean?” He told her of Prauf his best friend and near father during his life on Bracca. He had come to compartmentalize his life. Before the purge, Bracca, and now his time aboard the Mantis. 

“But in the end, he was killed just before I left Bracca.” Her hands tightened on his own. 

“You must not blame yourself for his death.” But he did just as he blamed himself for His old master.

“They died so you could make a difference in this galaxy. You are destined for incredible things Cal. They both knew that.” He squeezed her hand thankful for her words.

At that moment a knock sounded on his door. Before thinking of the position he and Merrin were in he called to whoever was outside.

“Come in.” The door slid open to reveal Cere. She looked at he and Merrin, their legs untwined and bodies pressed against each other. She didn’t look shocked and smiled knowingly at Cal.

“We decided back to Bogano to lie low, at least until the empire stops broadcasting your face everywhere.” She turned around and left the room without another word. 

He looked back at Merrin as the door slid closed. They made eye contact and she threw her head back and laughed. Long and loud. He realized he liked the sound of her laugh very much. She looked back at him the ghost of her laugh still in her eyes.

“Merrin.” He bagan and he wasn’t sure how to but he knew he had to tell her. She had to know how he felt before it was too late. She waited patiently for him to speak.

“Merrin I feel very strongly for you. And if you don’t feel the same I understand” she looked at him and he averted his eyes preparing himself for the worst. 

“Cal I feel very strongly for you too.” He looked back up into her eyes. “I wanted to tell you for a very long time. You saved me on Dathomir, saved me from a life of pain and loneliness.” She hugged him closely.

“Thank you Cal Kestis.” He held her against him reveling in her presence. After several moments she pulled back.

“I am hungry let us get something to eat.” He smiled at her 

“I think that’s a great idea.” They separated themselves and left Cals room to go to the kitchen. The others were sitting at the table already eating. Siv made eye contact with Cal and Winked. Cal felt his face redden. Greez and Cere made no mention of the fact Cal and Merrin has both spent several hours together in Cals room. 

The crew ate mostly in silence worn out from the several rough days in a row. While he was eating Cal felt a small warm hand slip into his own. He looked at Merrin and smiled. She smiled back. 

Perhaps a short break of action on Bogano was exactly what they all needed.


	8. Chapter 8

It took The crew of the Mantis several days to get Cordovas old settlement in living condition again. They needed to set up stable power, Showers and places to sleep.

They decided to start with the showers. It was the right choice since Bogano was essentially just wetlands. After the first day they were all sweating profusely from the heat and humidity.

The first day went smoothly everyone was able to be clean before night fell. They pulled sticks to see who would get the bed for the first night. Siv and Hreez managed to be the first ones with a real bed. Cal, Merrin, and Cere has to lay out costs around the bed room. 

It got much colder than cal had expected from the heat of the prior hours. Thankfully the mantis had plenty of blankets on board. Cal volunteered to bring them seeing as he had spent the most time exploring the planet in the first place.

Coming back to camp he noticed Merrin sitting on the cliff staring into the distance. He came to stand next to her before setting a blanket on her shoulders and sitting down.

“Are you okay?” She nodded but didn’t say anything there was enough moon light reflecting off her face for him to notice wet streaks across her face.

“Why are you crying? Is something wrong?” He was worried about Merrin she was clearly very upset. 

“My Sisters.” She finally choked out. Of course, she still carried the pain of her whole Clans death. He gently put an arm around her and brought her closer.

Her hands grabbed onto his poncho and she began to cry into his shoulder. He slowly turned his body so that they were facing another. She leaned even further into him.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Cal gently rubbing her back and whispering words of comfort to her.

She leaned back. Wiping her eyes. Her breathing was still erratic and hitching occasionally. She pulled something out of a pocket of her robes.

A hood similar to the one Merrin wore when they first met but smaller in size. She held it out for him. He braced himself for what was to come but it did little to help.

Dathomir. Her home. Now all of it was burning before her eyes the blue and green flashing before her eyes. Her sisters being cut down left and right she wouldn’t stand a chance. But she had to help her sisters.

She had to be brave. Brave like Ilyana. She began to move. She began to run. Tears falling down her face. She was running from the battle not too it.

She was not brave. She never would be she was leaving her sisters to die. She was leaving Ilyana. She tripped. A hand had grabbed her ankle. One of her sisters a large hole in her chest from a droid. It still smoldered. 

“Help... Me.” She tore the hand away from her foot. Tears of shame and fear flowing down her face. She found a hole in the ground hidden from sight for anyone not looking for it. She hid.

She hid there for 2 days. She had to cover her ears during this first day to drown out the battle. The second day was defeating for other reasons. The only sounds she heard were the wild animals and winds of Dathomir.

When she finally left the hole she crawled towards her old home. It was in ruins still smoking from the fires that had started.the bodies of night sisters covering the ground. Some killed by blasters others having been mauled by the green and blue lightswords the monster weilded. 

Her sisters lay in heals where they fell. Many she recognized others too damaged to identify. 

She came across the one body she couldn’t bear to find. Ilyana the older Nightsister was Merrin’s best friend. She loved all of her sisters. But Ilyana was the one she loved the most.

She had to bury their bodies over the next several days. She began with Ilyana unable to see her body rot. 

Cal was brought back to the present when the hood was yanked from his hands.

“Cal I am so sorry I did not even consider your psychometry.” She looked horrified at what she knew he had seen.

“You must think me a coward for running.” She said her head hanging low. Her voice filled with shame.

He reached out to cup her face and raised her head back to his eye level. 

“I would never think you were a coward. Merrin you were only a child of course you ran. You were afraid. You had no idea what was happening.” She leaned into his hand setting one of her own on it. 

“When the purge happened I ran too. I should have gone with my master to help him. But instead I ran safe inside the machinery of the ship until I got to the escape pods.” 

“I should have been able to help him defeat the clones attacking us. But I was afraid and because of that he died. He was the closest thing I had to a father. He was kind but strict. He never told me but I think he did love me.” He paused slightly unsure of how to continue.

“We may have failed our families at one point Merrin. But I know I can trust you with my life. Because you’re no longer that scared little girl.” She looked at him with a sad smile on her lips. 

“And I trust you with mine.” She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. She paused as if in thought. Then she kissed him again this time on the lips. Her lips were soft. Warm, they tasted salty from her tears.

Cal had frozen unsure of what to do. Merrin drew back and smiled.

“Next time you better kiss me back.” She stood and offered him a hand. He took it and they both stood. They began to walk back to the camp their hands still entwined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some creative liberties with Merrin’s story on Dathomir. Also how cute are these two like for real they’re so adorable


	9. Chapter 9

Their stay on Bogano was uneventful. The Empire settled down after two weeks of no Jedi sightings. Cal was impatient he wanted to get back to the action. Siv was constantly meditating. He woke up and meditated until dinner then meditated until night. He was pretty sure that Siv also practiced with his saber for most hours of the night. Cal wasn’t sure when he slept, if he did at all.

Merrin and Cal had taken to pushing their Cots next to each other. Every night when they drew sticks Cal have you his spot to someone else if Merrin also didn’t pull the bed. If the others noticed, and he was sure they did, they never said anything.

They were back aboard the Mantis. Plotting a course had become a rather contested discussion. There didn’t seem to be any good choice.

Cal felt obligated to return to Kashyyyk to help the Wookie resistance there. Cere however claimed it was still too risky to return there. Greez said he would much rather go to ‘somewhere nice, where we aren’t being shot at’. 

Merrin was quiet during the whole discourse which led Cal to believe she didn’t care where they went. The argument had started to reach a stalemate when finally Siv spoke up.

“What about Ryloth?” He had been sitting in silence and Cal felt slightly guilty for never asking for his opinion.

“What about it?” Cere arched an eyebrow in curiosity.

“Well there’s an imperial resistance movement there so I’d say it’s a good place to make some friends.” He quickly glanced at each member. “Plus I used to know the leader of the anti seperatist movement there. My bet is that he is working against the empire as well.”

They all thought for a moment. Except for Greez who immediately began to grumble about how they were gonna get shot at there as well. 

“I think it is a good idea.” Cal was surprised to hear Merrin’s voice. “Cal you’ve clearly been missing the action of combat” 

He couldn’t disagree there. Although he was slightly embarrassed that it was so obvious. 

“I see no major issues with helping out the Twi’leks on Ryloth.” Cere stated thoughtfully

“Then it’s decided! we’ll go to Ryloth spend a couple of weeks there and then find somewhere else we can cause a pain in the Empires backside.” Siv smiled at Cal’s comment.

Cal felt Merrin looking at him. He looked back and smiled. She nodded her head to the bench she sat on. He needed no further invitation and plopped himself down next to her. 

She didn’t beat around the bush. 

“I wish to come with you and Siv on Ryloth.” Her face held determination, Cal knew it would be utterly pointless to attempt to dissuade her from this path. But he had to try.

“Are you sure? It’ll be dangerous, who knows what could happen there.” She raised an eyebrow clearly unimpressed with his reasoning.

“I am quite used to danger Cal Kestis, you seem to forget I survived 6 years on Dathomir.” He took a breath.

“I’m sorry I’m just worried. I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt.” Merrin took his hand. 

“Cal I have had to let you go off on your own many times. Do you not think I worried about you?” Her words held a quiet anger. He felt a wave of guilt flood him. 

“Merrin I’m sorry I never thought of it like that. It’s just I... I couldn’t bear to lose you.” Her face softened and she touched his cheek. 

“Then we will just have to watch each other’s back, yes?” He smiled at her thankful she wasn’t upset with him.

“Of course.” 

After Several hours of space travel they arrived at Ryloth. Cal and Merrin has fallen asleep slumped against each other. His breath moving the untucked hair hanging down her face.

Cal tucked the hair behind her ear. He gently shook her, whispering her name. She awoke rubbed the sleep out of her eyes then stretched.

“We’re here, are you ready to begin our adventure?” She smiled at his tone and antics.

“I am Indeed. How shall we begin?” He smiled at her slipping on a poncho and grabbing his pack. He turned back to see Merrin putting on the poncho he gave her after Kashyyyk, he thought again of how good it looked on her.

She caught him looking.

“What?” He smiled and shook his head.

“Nothing.” She gave him a weird look but didn’t say anything. Siv was waiting at the door of the ship clearly as eager as Cal to get back into the action. Cere came into the living area of the Mantis. 

“Good luck out there.” She paused. “Oh and Cal, kill a few stormtroopers for me.” Cal smiled, 

“You got it Cere.” He looked at Merrin and Siv. The former slightly unsure and nervous, the latter flexing his knuckles in a form of loosening up for what was to come.

“Alright lets go.” They stepped off the mantis into onto the Vast rocky Mesa’s of Ryloth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me forever to write this probably cause there’s no action and it’s pretty much just a filler chapter (sorry)


	10. Chapter 10

Ryloth was an Inhospitable planet. Cal had known this of course from his time studying the planet during his training. But he hadn’t realized it was this bad. Hot and dry during the day. At night it reached near freezing temperatures.

Siv it seemed, was a skilled tracker and quickly found evidence of what appeared to be a mobile resistance force. They tracked the group for two days before they were met by the group imam ambush.

“Who are you? What is your Business?” Cal gestured for Siv to step forward and speak to the fighters. 

“We are looking for the Guerrilla fighters of Cham Syndulla.” A tall orange skinned Twi’lek stepped forward from the line of troops. 

“Well you have found him. What do you want?” He spoke with a harsh voice clearly a man who was accustomed to yelling. 

“I fought briefly with you during the clone wars.” He now raised his voice. “I am Jedi Knight Siv Tariq, with me are Jedi Knight Cal Kestis and Merrin of Dathomir. We come to assist Ryloth in a time of need. We wish to help liberate Ryloth from the Empire.” A cheer went up through the ranks of the fighters.

Cham Syndulla stride closer. He appeared battle hardened and rough. 

“What makes you think you can make any difference in this battle?” He seemed very skeptical of their abilities.

“As I said before Cal and I are both Jedi Knights and our other companion is a Nightsister from Dathomir.” Syndulla looked at Merrin with contempt.

“Two boys with lightswords and a witch. I am very doubtful of what help you will be.” Cal started forward angrily but was cut off by Siv.

“I seem to recall hearing that your band was more of a nuisance than a serious threat to the Empire. We however have caused the Free Kashyyyk Movement to triple in size and have brought Imperial operations on the planet to a grinding halt.” The Twi’lek glared at Siv. 

“I remember you now. You and that girl came here shortly before the end of the war.” Siv bristled at the mention of Zara.

“We will accept your help in freeing Ryloth.” He waved a hand and began to walk the others followed him. “Several weeks ago we managed to crash the ship of Darth Vader unfortunately he managed to defeat our forces before we could do him much damage. That is why our numbers are so few.”

“Impressive.” Cal was surprised any non force user was able to get the drop on Vader 

Syndulla led the trio to a sort of command tent with a holotable in the center of the enclosure. Several Twi’lek huddled around it. On closer inspection Cal realized the holo table was in fact a crate with a droids head projecting a map across the surface.  
Sitting on the table was a DC-17 Blaster pistol. Cal went to pick it up when his psychometry activated. He briefly saw a final stand by a clone captain with dark brown markings on his armor. 

The clone was knocked to the ground by an explosion. He saw a Nikto Jedi rush forward and cut down a swathe of droids with seemingly little effort. Transport ships loomed in the distance and the Jedi hesitated. A shot rang out protecting the Jedi from a Super Battle Droid. 

“Captain Keeli!” The Jedi called one surprise.

“Not finished yet Sir.” The clone stood with determination “We can do this general!” The two fought on, slowly being surrounded. 

The Jedi let out what almost sounded like a chuckle. “Lets make the end memorable!” A surge of pride rose in the trooper. He truly respected his Jedi general and to die with him as a warrior was a fitting end. He took a blaster bolt to the chest, throwing him off as he took a second. He fell the life draining slowly from him. 

The Jedi took a blaster bolt to the stomach he kept fighting. 

“This is Republic blockade runner O-Niner-Niner we have broken through.”

The general was growing weary.

“The Twi’lek shall love to fight another day.” With a final war cry he deflect several bolts. Before taking several more. He fought on for a moment before falling to the ground beside his clone commander. 

Cal was brought to the present with a jolt. He was holding the blaster.

“This belonged to Clone Captain Keeli.”

Chan Syndulla heard him speak.

“Yes it did. He and his Jedi General were overrun trying to buy us time to escape with our refugees.” The Twi’lek was reliving the memory of that day though not as vividly as Cal. “I am thankful for their sacrifice as it bought us time to escape.” 

Cal was grateful the Jedi had died with the commander as allies rather than adversaries. He knew far too well the horrors of such events.

“What is the next plan of action.” Siv was already conversing with the Guerrilla leadership.

“We have a raid planned on an imperial transport. It’s a resupply for arms and supplies from Nabat to Lessu.”

“What does it have for a caravan?” The Twi’lek listed off the number of troops and what they had for firepower. Cal stopped listening trusting Siv to make a good decision for their team. Merrin was standing beside him leaned in close to his ear. 

“Let’s talk outside.” Her breath ticked his ear and he nodded quickly. They exited the tent. Cal risked a look back towards Siv who was leaning over the table discussing in an animated voice the best plan of attack.

Cal exited the tent and found Merrin sitting on some crates between the command tent and what he assumed were barracks.

“Are you all right, when you picked up that blaster I saw you make that face.” He cocked his head confused.

“What face?”

“You make a face when your psychometry is in effect. This was new to him he had never felt himself make a face.

“What does it look like?” He asked genuinely curious.

“You set your jaw and your eyes get a far away look. Then your eyebrows sort of furrow. You almost look deep in thought. Then you have muted emotions from what you’re seeing.”

He breathed in through his nose remembering what had taken place so many years ago.

“What did you see?” He looked into her eyes. They were concerned.

“A Jedi and his Clone Commander were killed here. They were making a final stand when droids closed in on them. They tried to last as long as possible in order to help the people of Ryloth.”

“Did you know him?” She didn’t realize the question was so loaded for him. He thought back to his short time in the Jedi temple.

“I can remember seeing him but I never learned his name.” He did his best to close the floodgates of his previous life before they threatened to overwhelm him. He mustered up as much conviction that he could before speaking again.

“One day hopefully we can finish what he started. One day we will free ryloth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my favorite scenes from the Clone wars it really shows the best of the clones and Jedi. Keeli and Ima-Gun-Di are one of my favorite pairs in the series even though we barely see them


	11. Chapter 11

They were sitting on a ridge overlooking the mountainous road, upon which the convoy would travel. They had lain there in the hot sun for several hours Cal felt the sun burning the skin on the back of his neck. 

Cal had begun to doubt the intelligence they had received that led to them setting up an ambush when he felt a nudge.

“There it is.” Siv handed him a pair of macro goggles and gave him a compas readout. He quickly looked in that direction and saw the convoy just as it had been described the day before.

“Alright what’s the plan?” Cal asked Siv as the Other Jedi had yet to fill him in on the plan. 

“The Vehicle is gonna run over some axle breakers it’ll be immobilized, then we’ll take out the crow grab as much gear as the Bluurg can very then return back to camp before the Moore even knows what’s going on.”

It seemed like a good plan Cal definitely couldn’t find any flaws with it. Besides he trusted Siv. 

As the transport closed in on the ambush point Cal became more and more tense. He wished Merrin was with them. But she was on the other side of the road waiting for the same thing as them.

It happened about five minutes after they spotted the transport. The first set of wheels rolled over and with a loud bang the vehicle sagged to one side and rolled to a stop.

Cal and Siv both jumped up from their prone position and and ran towards the transport. 

Five stormtroopers raised their blasters Intent on defending the gear. Siv ignited his lightsaber and threw it at the troopers. It became lodged into the chest of his target, with the force he pulled it back towards him. He rushed the next trooper and swung the saber in a backhanded swing removing the head of the second trooper. 

Cal used the force to dash forward and stab the trooper in the stomach, he pushed him off as the other freedom fighter arrived. Cal saw one of the final two trooper being lifted up by a green haze then being thrown back down into the ground with a deadly thud.  
The last trooper dropped his blaster and threw his hands up. 

Before Cal could react the storm trooper had been shot by several of the Twi’leks. He couldn’t believe the had just executed him. He had surrendered. He wasn’t a threat. 

The Fighters loaded up the Bluurgs with equipment and rations. They finished loading up and started their trek back towards the new campsite. They had found out the camp was changed every three nights as to not leave a trail. 

“This will give the freedom fighters a huge advantage.” Siv tried to sound positive but he seemed concerned by the actions of the Twi’lek.

“They shouldn’t have killed him, he was unarmed and had surrendered.” Cal felt venom seeping into his words but he couldn’t help it.

“I agree Cal what they did was in humane and rather barbaric.” He took solace in the fact that Merrin agreed with him.

“What should we do about this. I’m sure Syndulla not only allows but likely encourage such behavior.”

“The only solution I can foresee would be too remove ourselves from this fight.” 

“I think Merrin is right Cal. The Twi’lek can fend for their own and I’m not sure I want to be apart of something like this.”

Cal thought for several moments before answering.

“I agree, let’s call Cere and let her know we’re cutting the campaign short. When they got in contact with Cere she told them they would need to wait until the next morning before she could pick the up. 

She also warned them there was suddenly a lot of imperial activity on the planet. They thanked her for the heads up and planned out a rendezvous point. 

The three fell into silence as they entered the camp. A stark contrast to the jovial celebratory atmosphere of the camp.

They warned Syndulla of their departure. He didn’t seem happy but didn’t come up with a reason they couldn’t leave.

The Trio gathered their belongings and packed their bags. With nothing to do they talked. 

“So how do you not cut yourself with your lightsaber when you’re swinging it so errantly?” Cal laughed at her description of lightsaber combat. Siv spoke up to explain

“Well not only are there strict drills regarding saber combat we also use the force to keep us from hitting ourselves.” She seemed satisfied with Siv’s answer. I have another question.” 

“Yeah?” Her serous tone slightly worried him. He hoped she didn’t ask about the Jedi order.

“Do you think a Bluurg would make a good house pet?” All three laughed. Once again Cal admired Merrin’s beautiful laugh. 

“Oh yeah I’m sure they would be great. They would probably crawl up onto the couch and sit in your lap!” They laughed harder, and that’s when the first explosion rocked the tent.

They instantly stopped laughing and threw themselves out into the camp.

Several troop transports had just dropped off nearly 3 squad of storm troopers. But that wasn’t his main concern. There flying towards them were two Gozanti Class Cruisers Both carrying ATDPs.

“Cal, what are we gonna do about those?” Merrin’s frightened voice fallout to him.

“I don’t know.” The cruisers shot into the camp. Their turbo lasers tearing the camp to pieces. 

“I have an idea but I need you guys to cover me.” Siv told Merrin and Cal. He ran towards the middle of the Camp the two followed him after a short hesitation.

He stopped and put his hands up calling on the force.

“Siv no! Are you crazy it’s too much!” He didn’t put his hands down. They began to tremble slightly. Then shake. Then his whole body was convulsing. Cal looked at the cruisers. Nothing was happening.

Siv began to growl then scream as though he were being totrtured. His hands whole body shook violently. Then something incredible happened.

One of the cruisers began to move towards the other slowly drifting until they both collided, forcing each other down into the ground. They crashed and an explosion tore through the landscape. A shockwave kicked up dust and tree them to the ground. 

As the dust settled Cal struggled to his feet and ran over to Siv to find him unconscious. He dragged the larger Jedi towards Merrin telling her to keep him safe. Then he ran to join the battle.

The Storm troopers had taken defensive positions and were firing into the camp.   
Two chain-gun troopers began to fire with no mercy. Cal ignited his dual-bladed saber and charged. The two chain gun soldiers began to fire upon him. Cal got an idea.

He began to self elect the bolts, but not at the Chaingunners instead focusing the bolts to those around them, each bolt met a target and soon half the attacking force was down. Before he could celebrate he hit in the back by an electro staff. 

A Scout trooper Commander stood behind him preparing for another swing. Cal blocked and took a slice at him. The superior armor protected the commander and he took another swing albeit much less powerful. Cal blocked again and plunged his lightsaber deep into the troopers chest.

He turned back in time to see a rocket flying towards him. He used the force to push it back towards the source and an explosion shook the ground now it was down to only a handful of troopers. They wasted no time in opening fire. He dashed forward into the midst and then spun his lightsaber around him before throwing it with the force in a circle surrounding him. 

He caught the lightsaber and paused as the troopers slumped to their knees and finally to the ground. That was all they had sent. He found Cham Syndulla and warned him to evacuate the camp before reinforcements arrived. He listened and called his troops to retreat. 

Cal returned to Merrin and Siv. Who had regained consciousness but was badly dazed. They threw him onto a Bluurg then climbed up on it themselves before riding it towards the rendezvous. 

They called to Cere warning her of what happened and she said they could get to the rendezvous in the next 10 minutes. 

The mantis was setting down just as they arrived the quickly pulled Siv off of the beast and then dragged him on board. He was mumbling tactics for an invasion of some sort. They closed the ramp and the mantis picked up and shot into the atmosphere. 

Cal and Merrin both stumbles to their couch before collapsing against each other. Both exhausted from their hard work. Merrin’s head was slumped onto his chest and Cal put his arms around her, holding her close.

“That was too close.” Cal swallowed the dry ball of nervousness in his throat.

“I agree.” Her voice was tired and hoarse.

“You two should get some sleep. And I don’t mean on the couch.”  
Ceres voice interrupted the fog of exhaustion around them. Cal nodded then stood. Merrin was already fast asleep. He picked her up bridal style and carried her towards the back of the ship. 

He laid her down on his cot then climbed in next to her. Her hands found his vest and dragged him close to her. He put his arms around her waist and the two fell into a deep sleep. Safe aboard the mantis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired in this chapter by the Force unleashed scene where Starkiller brings down an Imperial Class star destroyer. Which honestly what a badass. Also I find it strange that yoda says lifting the rocks is no different than the lightsaber when everywhere else different objects require more power to lift. I don’t know


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real sad story coming up but don’t worry there’s some good at the end

Cal woke up to someone tapping his shoulder. He looked over his shoulder slowly trying not to dislodge Merrin from her sleep. 

Siv was crouched down next to the cot. His eyes were averted out of respect. 

“Sorry to disturb you but we need to talk.” Cal nodded and separated himself from Merrin as Siv left the room. He managed to get off the bed without awaking Merrin. He carefully set a blanket on her, missing her warmth he left the room.

Siv was waiting outside the door. His face in shadow inside the dark corridor. 

“Cal I’m very happy for you and Merrin. But I don’t know if I can see her again.” Cal furrowed he eyebrows. 

“What do you mean?” His whole frame was being weighed down. 

“Zara.” His voice was under strain. He sounded and looked as though he was moving the cruisers again. 

“Oh.” Cal didn’t know what to say, he had never been in a situation like Siv’s. His training definitely didn’t prepare him for this. 

“Cal if she finds us again I think she will kill me.” Cal grabbed his friends arm in shock.

“You can’t let her do that.” Cal told him with as much conviction he could.

“I can’t fight her Cal. I. Can’t. Hurt her.” He began to shake slightly. “I love her, and she hates me.” Cal couldn’t see his eyes but he was sure they were filled with tears. He put his bed in his hands.

“No. She doesn’t hate you. Her mind has been twisted into something she doesn’t recognize. She barely knows who she is anymore. But Siv I promise you, she is still in there. She is still fighting to be free. I know she is.” Siv raised his head. 

“Do you think I could save her?” His voice was filled with both hope and sorrow. 

“I don’t know Siv. But you have to try right?” The bigger man nodded and wiped his face with his arm. 

“T-thank you Cal. I want to say thank you.” Cal shrugged but Siv grabbed his shoulder.

“No cal I’m serious. You and the rest of the crew is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.” Cal wasn’t sure what to say. 

“Well we are really glad to have you. You’ve saved all of us at least once.” Siv pulled something out of his pocket. He held it in front of him. 

“Cere told me about your Psycometry, and I felt like it was time you saw what happened to me on Mygeeto. I know it will be hard but I can’t talk about it. So whenever you are ready I want you to take this.” He held out his lightsaber. “If you aren’t ready I understand” 

Cal reached out with his gloved hand and took the lightsaber. 

“Thank you for trusting me Siv.” He nodded and walked back to his room leaving cal alone in the silent corridor.

Cal quietly slipped back into his room sat down. He set the lightsaber on the ground and took his glove off. He slowly reached out with his now unprotected hand towards the cold unforgiving metal of the saber.

His fingers made contact with the weapon and cold traveled from his fingers all the way up into his whole body. Snowflakes buffeted his skin the cold air burned his lungs.

“Siv!” A soft voice was shouting his name.  
He turned towards the sound of the voice. Zara was standing there wrapping her arms around her body shivering. Siv quickly shedded his cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. She smiled 

“Won’t you be cold?” He laughed.

“Not as cold as you.” Her face crinkled into a smile lighting up her whole face.

“What’re you doing out here?” He turned back to the vast horizon the strange shaped buildings and platform. 

“Just admiring the view.” She turned to face the same direction as him and stepped closer to him.

“It is quite beautiful isn’t it?” He looked down at her and smiled. She looked at him sensing his gaze. She blushed and hit him in the chest. 

“I was talking about the planet.” 

“And I was talking about my whole world.” She blushed again and leans into him. They heard footsteps and quickly separated. 

“Sirs! We are about to start our assault on the facility.” 

“Thank you Commander. We’re ready, have the men been briefed?” Siv liked the way Zara talked when she was interacting with the clones. She got so serious and lifted he chin and straightened her back. Trying to appear taller. 

“Yes Sir! We’re waiting for you to begin.” 

“Excellent.” They followed the commander to the rest of the squad. The council had decided that 11 clones and 2 Jedi knights would be enough to capture the power facility. 

The team began their march to the checkpoint. Moving cautiously as to avoid detection. They made it with no incidents it seemed that the work of Master Ki-Adi-Mundi was keeping the droids busy. 

The two Jedi nodded to each other and drew their lightsabers. They ran towards the facility and their troopers followed them. They cut down the guards with ease. They broke into the facility and began to plant the bombs. Siv was going to call out that this seemed too easy when two destroyer droids rolled into the building. They stood up and activated their shields. 

“Commander Crow we need some droid poppers” Siv shouted over the two droids they began to block the blaster bolts. Two droid poppers rolled past their feet and slipped through the shields and disabled the droids.

“Thank you Commander.” He turned back and the troopers continued to lay down the charges.

“No problem Sir.” The two Jedi went back to patrolling the facility looking for any more opposition. They found none and returned to there troops. Crow closed a transmission right as they returned. 

Siv stumbled. He felt like he had gotten hit in the head with a brick. Zara felt it too. Death. Lots of death. Betrayal. Jedi was being betrayed all over the universe. In a daze be barely saw Crow loft his blaster along with their whole squad. 

“NO!” He ignited his lightsaber and blocked several bolts. Zara hadn’t recovered quite so quickly and took a bolt in the arm throwing off her defense she took a second to the body. She collapsed to ground. Not dead but gravely wounded. 

Siv felt a hot wave flood his body he didn’t understand what was happening but he didn’t fight it. He heard a loud scream and his whole body began to thrum with energy. He was shot in the leg but he didn’t feel it. reaching out the troopers were all lifted off of their feet. He slammed them together, he felt the bones in their bodies snap and organs rupture. He dropped them and all was still. Then he heard Zara sobbing. He came out of his daze of rage and pain.

He quickly dropped to her side and cradled her body.

“Zara! Zara! Are you alright!” He felt panic when he realized she had been shot in the chest. 

“Oh god Zara can you breathe?” She nodded he felt the pain in her body as of it was his own. 

“Don’t. worry I’ll be fine. But we need to get o-out of here.” He cupped her cheek.

“Can you walk?” He was on the verge of panic. She nodded but it was a lie and they both knew it. He picked her up and she screamed.

“I’m so sorry Zara.” He began to walk back towards their camp. He knew that they still had the Rising Dawn their T-6 Shuttle. During the walk his own leg began to get feeling pain was radiating through it. He was struggling to walk let alone carry the Twi’lek in his arms. Small as she was, he was weak and was having trouble standing. 

“We need to get off this planet and somewhere safe. This is happening all over the galaxy I can feel it.” He voice carried through the fog of pain and exhaustion swimming through his head. He nodded and found a new strength to carry on. He began to repeat a message in his head. 

Get to the ship, get Zara help. Get to the ship, get Zara help. He couldn’t let her die. He needed her. He loved her. She had to know, before it was too late.

“Zara I need to tell you I love you everything we’ve been through and I’ve never truly told you.” She didn’t hear him already unconscious. 

He dragged her and himself almost 2 miles. When he got to the Rising Dawn he felt a new wave of exhaustion surge through his body. He barely crawled up the ramp running into walls and bulkheads.

He set her down in the medical bay and called to the medical droid. He ran into the cockpit and set a course for the closest planet he could find. His whole body was shivering. His fingers were red and numb. He had wrapped both of their cloaks around her to try and keep her body temperature up. He returned to the medical bay as the ship shot into hyperspace. 

He dropped to his knees near the bed. Her clothing had been removed to treat the wound. He wrapped her in several of the blankets they kept on board. He gently grabbed her hand, it was cold between his. Cold and small. He brought it to his lips pressing them against her hand. He couldn’t lose her.

“She will survive but the recovery will be very difficult.” He heard the robotic droning of the medical droid and he felt hope flood his body. He greens the droid and hugged it. The droid was less than thrilled.

“You must be inspected for injuries. Please lay down on this table. He obliged the droid and lay down. He knew they would be in hyperspace for several hours and he allowed the droid to treat his leg. 

His thoughts went back the the moment he killed the clones. He had always liked the clones. He felt conflicted over what he had done. Even more so how he had done it. He had used the dark side of the force. Of that he had no doubt. He knew it was the only reason they were alive. 

He knew it was not the Jedi way. Of course he he knew his relationship with Zara was also not the Jedi way. He knew that whatever happened the two of them would have to fight together to survive this. He knew they loved each other and he knew that this was the start of a new life for both of them.

Cal jumped back. His body was still cold from Mygeeto. He had felt everything. His psychometry was becoming more potent. He was Siv in that memory. 

“Cal?” He heard the sleepy voice of Merrin. “Are you alright?” He stood and crawled back into the cot With Merrin. 

“Yeah I’m alright just bad memories.” He didn’t think it was necessary to tell her it wasn’t his memory. 

“You are safe now with me though yes?” He smiled at her and they both drew closer. 

“Of course I am.” She smiled at him. And closed her eyes. He looked at her peaceful face.

“Merrin?” He whispered to her.

“Yes Cal?” Her eyes were open once again. He leaned in and kissed her. This time she was the one who froze up.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short filler chapter for the next stage of the story. Things are about to get interesting

When Cal woke up again they were still in hyperspace. He was still tired but knew he couldn’t get more sleep. Still he tried, cuddling close to Merrin. She began to stir after several minutes. 

She told Cal she was going to get up and get ready and that she would be back in a few minutes. Cal watched her leave then looked over at Siv’s lightsaber. Sitting on his table near the back of his quarters. He slipped on his glove and walked over to it gently holding it as if it were an explosive.

He exited the room and made for the kitchen. He found Siv already there leaning against the counter. He had dark rings under his eyes. 

“When was the last time you slept Siv? Because you look awful.” The other Jedi smiled at his gentle jab.

“With the force as my ally sleep is only but a distraction.” The two laughed at his wise and serious tone. 

“I saw what happened on Mygeeto.” Cal said it softly but Siv stiffened.

“Oh.” That was all he said. Cal knew it would be hard to talk about for the older Jedi.

“You did what you had too Siv. I know that you were afraid and you still blame yourself for what happened but it’s not your fault.”

Siv was about to reply when Merrin walked into the room.

“Ah there you are Cal. I wasn’t sure where you went.” She noticed the awkward weight in the room. “I’ve interrupted something important, I am sorry I will return to my quarters.” She turned to leave but Siv stopped her.

“No Merrin it’s fine you can stay. You’re my friend...I trust you.” Merrin smiled at him glad she was more than just another member of the crew. 

“I know that I can’t change the past but I have to be ready for the future. I have to save her.” Cal looked at his friend deeply concerned. 

“If anyone can do it, I know that you can.” Siv nodded his head in thanks at his confidence in his abilities.

“Just remember Siv. You are not alone. We will always be here to support you.” Merrin’s voice was gentle and supportive. 

Siv cleared his throat and changed the subject as Greez waddled into the room. 

“Where are we going Captain?” The Latero stopped and turned towards the three younger crew members.

“Well Cere suggested Muunilist and I think it’s a decent choice.” Siv tilted his head.

“That’s near Mygeeto.” Greez nodded 

“Yeah I guess it is. Why do you say.” 

“I need you to adjust course.” Cal looked at him shocked.

“I think we should all talk about this.” Cere had entered the conversation without anyone noticing.

“You can just drop me off there but I need to do this.” Cal suddenly understood. 

“You’re trying to save Zara.” Siv nodded.

The others looked at him. 

“No we will accompany you. No one should have to go through that alone, besides you may need some help.” Merrin’s voice was aced with confidence.

“Are you sure about this Siv?” Cere’s voice was not so confident. 

“Yes I have to try and bring her back.” Cal stood next to his friend supporting him without words.

“Captain, set a course for Mygeeto.” Siv smiled sadly thankful for his friends. Cal patted his tall friend on the shoulder. They were going to make things right.


	14. Chapter 14

The ship set down gently on the planet of Mygeeto. Cal exited the ship and shivered. It was even colder than the day of the purge. He recognized this platform it was the same one Siv had landed the Jedi shuttle. 

Cal thought back to the purge. They almost came here. Siv came down the ramp behind him.

“You know right before the purge, Master Tapal and I were supposed to come here. We had just gotten the orders as the transmission came through.” 

“I wonder what would have been different. Would we have met you? Could we have survived the purge? All of us?” Siv’s tone was deep and thoughtful.

“We may never know, and it won’t do any good to dwell on it.” Siv nodded and they began their walk towards the facility. It took less time than it had in the vision. Of course they were making good time and were unwounded. Merrin walked near Cal wrapped up in one of his ponchos. She wore her robes underneath struggling to stay warm. Siv on the other hand was wearing clothes they got from the resistance back in Kashyyyk. He was woefully under dressed but Cal sensed that the discomfort from the cold was nothing compared to the memories of this planet. 

They were at the facility. Long abandoned the building stood sad and derelict. Tue charges had been removed from true building but that seemed the only change. Cal lifted his commlink and called to the Mantis. 

“Alright Cere we’re here. Alert the Empire. Let’s get this show on the road.” The crew had decided the best way to get inquisitors planet side would be to leak the fact that there was a Jedi on Mygeeto. They would fight through the storm troopers til they got Zara there and then they would hopefully break through the conditioning. Siv hopes that by being both on the planet and in the building she had been before conditioning they could break through the brainwashing.

Cal knew this could lead to all three of them dying. He had even talked to Merrin to make sure she was willing to give her life to help Siv. She smiled at him and said it wasn’t even a question that needed to be asked.

So here they waited feeling exposed and alone their location being broadcast all over the galaxy. It didn’t take long for the first group of storm troopers to arrive. It was small likely a planet side garrison. They cut them down with relative ease. When the first ships came out of hyperspace they were very confused. They had expected imperial cruisers and transports. 

Instead they found themselves looking at a collection of small gunships and stolen cruisers painted in bright colors. They landed nearby and put poured several dozen Wookiee. Among them he Saw Mari Cosan. He ran towards them.

“We heard there was a Jedi stranded in Mygeeto. We figured there was only one person who they could have been.” He smiled. The Wookiee would prove to be a formidable fighting force and with their help he was sure they would win any fight. 

“But what about Kashyyyk won’t it be under attack while you’re gone?” She nodded 

“I left just enough to make sure we don’t lose any territory, besides if you’re love you can come back and help us reestablish our control if we lose anything.” He couldn’t argue with that logic and they would need their help.

He told the Wookiee the plan warning them not to attack Zara and retreat if they saw her. Just as they finished the briefing a couple of cruisers jumped out of hyperspace. The troops prepared themselves for the oncoming attack.

The battle went on for several hours. The defenders were beginning to tire and even though they’d had very few casualties. They weren’t sure how much longer they could last. 

Just as Hope was beginning to falter Two TIE interceptors entered the atmosphere.

Cal looked at Siv they were hoping she would come alone but that was clearly not the case. 

The two ships landed. The inquisitors crawled out both were female the unknown sister had her helmet on. The two dark siders stalked towards the Wookiee frontline they began to fall back.

Cal and Siv however stood their ground. They stopped several yards from the two Jedi. 

“So this is the infamous Cal Kestis. Killer of the Ninth Sister you also beat the second sister in a duel didn’t you.” This was the masked inquisitor. 

“I am the Seventh Sister and I will ensure you do not leave this planet alive. I look forward to my promotion.” Zara stood glaring at Siv hatred in her eyes.

“And who is this my dear sister? Someone you know?” Her head turned towards the other Jedi.

“Siv Tariq.” The Twi’lek spat the name with such intensity that Cal was slightly doubtful they could break through to the girl underneath. Siv however set his jaw. The only indication of his nervousness was his skin, slightly pale.

“Zara I know you’re still in there you can fight this.” Siv’s voice carried gentleness. Though he wasn’t yelling it carried through the now quiet battle field.

“DO NOT SPEAK THAT NAME!” The soft gentle voice Cal had heard before was gone, replaced with harsh grating tones. 

“Oh sister l am getting rather bored of all this talking.” Her lightsaber ignited lighting the air around her with a red hue. “Let’s have some fun shall we.” The Inquisitor charged forward. Cal ignited his own saber and met her halfway. They locked their blades fighting for control. She was strong. But he was much stronger than her. He quickly over powered her and swung a strike at her now undefended torso. She dodged back barely avoiding disembowelment. Still it cut through her armor and scored a painful burn along her stomach. She growled and lunged forward. He sidestepped then brought his foot up and kicked her in the side. It threw her off balance and she stumbled back. Cal didn’t advance. She regained her footing then hit herself in the stomach with a closed fist. Drawing power form the pain she felt. 

She screamed and threw her lightsaber he blocked it and rushed forward with an overhead strike. She brought her blade up just in time. Though she couldn’t stop it completely and the blades sheared down her helmet cutting off the face mask. 

Her yellow skin and Red tattoos told him she was a Mirialan. Her face was drawn into a snarl. She was around the same age as Siv from what Cal could guess. 

She used the force to push him back. She wasn’t nearly as powerful as Trilla but better than the Ninth Sister for sure. She charged again her lightsaber spinning. He blocked the blows as the came she was tiring out. He waited for the right moment and then used the force to push her to the ground. She stood to her feet slightly dazed. Cal didn’t move forward. She looked at him knowing if she kept attacking she would lose. She turned and ran back to her ship. Cal swiveled his focus to Siv as he and Zara fought. 

She was swinging her saber in a flurry at the taller Jedi. She was beyond angry. Siv blocked a powerful overhead strike and used one hand to reach out with the force. Her body was shaking. She couldn’t move. Siv grabbed her lightsaber and retracted the blade. He dropped it to the ground.

“Zara I know you don’t want to do this. You are still the woman I knew so many years ago.

“NO! I am more powerful now.” She was still so angry. 

“I know but that doesn’t mean you’re doing the right thing. It’s not too are we can escape this time together. You don’t need to be filed by hate any longer.”

“Hypocrite you used the dark side to kill all those clones. You left me to die on Nur!” Tears were cascading down her face. But from sorrow or rage cal couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry Zara I failed you. I wish I could change what happened. If I could I would take your place a thousand times. I would let myself be tortured for a thousand lifetimes if I knew you were safe.” Siv was now crying too. Though Cal knew exactly why. 

“They broke me Siv.” Her voice was cracking and was chocked with emotion but it no longer held the hatred it did only moments ago.

“No Zara. They never broke you. They only made you think they did.” She began to truly sob. Siv stopped using the force to immobilize her and she fell to her knees sobbing. Siv stopped to his own knees and drew the girl into his arms. She seemed so small and young suddenly. No longer an angry woman out for vengeance. Now she was only a damaged young woman in need of comfort. 

Siv gently ran his hand down her lekku. She cried until there was nothing left in her system and she sat sniffling and shaking. 

“I’ve done such horrible things Siv. How can I make up for them.” He was quiet for a long time and Cal wasn’t sure he had an answer. 

“You have to do the right thing over and over again. Only then can you redeem yourself.” She quieted and slumped into his arms. Cal left them alone and sent the Wookiees back to Kashyyyk promising to return soon. 

He and Merrin stood away from the two allowing them to have privacy. After Serrano moments Siv picked up the Twi’lek. She was now asleep completely worn out from the emotional turmoil. They walked towards the mantis is silence. Zara occasionally stirred in Siv’s arms but never awoke. Siv was carying her inquisitor lightsaber on his belt but he stopped and asked cal to throw it off the edge of the road they were walking on.

Cal grabbed it forcing his psychometry down. He tossed it over the edge and watched as it plummeted towards the seemingly bottomless chasm.he watched it for several seconds before turning away and restarting the trek back to the mantis.

Siv gently set Zara down on his couch before sitting down beside her. Cal told cere to bring them back to Bogano so they had time for Zara to readjust to the light side of the force. As the ship lifted off he head Siv whisper to the girl. 

“We’ll get through this together Zara I promise. I love you.” Cal quickly left feeling like an intruder and settled himself beside Merrin on their own couch. They decided one person would stay awake and watch the Ex inquisitor while the others slept. Cal took the first watch. Siv lay down beside her and Merrin leaned against his own body. All three were asleep within minutes. Cal watched the new passenger carefully. Perhaps there was still hope for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t think Zara’s troubles end here there’s still a lot of recovery after so long as an inquisitor


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah hold on my math could be off but I’m pretty sure this is three chapters in one day. What can I say I’m hooked on these characters

Cal had woken up Siv for his watch and then went to sleep himself. He was in a deep sleep. Something wasn’t right he could feel it deep in his subconscious but he wasn’t sure what it was.

“ZARA! Stop!” Cal jolted awake and saw Zara teeth bared and hands wrapped tightly around his friends throat she was over his body strangling him. 

“Zar-a” his voice was coming out as a croak barely intelligible. Cal rushed forward grabbing the girl around the waist and dragging her off of his friend. Her hands however were still tightly wrapped around Siv’s throat. 

“Let go of him Zara.” Merrin’s calm voice cut through his sense and he looked over to see Merrin standing beside the other girl. The Twi’lek growled again the vibrations going throughout her whole body. Merrin took one step then slapped the girl, hard across the face. 

The unexpected pain shocked the girl and she released her hold on Siv’s neck. Then fell to the floor. She scurried across the floor backing into a corner. She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them tight against her body. She was shaking slightly. 

Siv lowered himself to the ground brusies already forming on his throat. 

“Zara?” Her purple eyes were bright and wide. 

“I-I didn’t mean to I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Tears were forming in her eyes. Siv moved closer to her wiping the tears that were now spilling down her cheeks. He shushed her. Whispering comforting words to her she set her head against his chest. He gently rocked her back and forth. Tears of his own falling into the skin On her head. 

Siv brought her to the couch and settled her down. they talked quietly. Cal caught the gaze of Cere and Greez he nodded his head towards the back of the ship. They walked back out of earshot of the two. 

“I think the conditioning is trying to reestablish it self. She’s fighting it but I don’t know if she’s strong enough right now.”

The other three nodded.

“I could perform some magick to help strengthen her resolve and body. But it would be only temporary and must be performed on her daily. Until she is strong enough to fight it on her own.”

“Sounds like that’s our best option.” They all nodded. A small ding sounded from the cockpit and Greez jumped.

“Oh we’re almost there I better get ready for the landing.” Cere followed him.

“I’ll come with you.” The two left Merrin and Cal alone in the back of the ship. Merrin started forward but cal grabbed her arm. 

“Merrin thank you for helping Zara. I know you don’t know her but Siv and her were very close before. He really appreciates this, I can tell.” Her face softened into a smile. 

“Of course Cal, no one deserves such horrors. Besides now I won’t feel guilty if Siv catches us together.” Her face had morphed into a sly smile and she gently pushed Cal into the wall.

Cal smiled slightly nervous was Merrin leaned in. Their lips connected and it felt different to the last two times. More intimate. There was a large numb and the two fell to the ground unprepared for the turbulence. They both laughed and stood. Brushing themselves off. Merrin leaned in to whisper into Cal’s ear. 

“We’ll finish this later. She leaned back and smiled before turning around and walking back into the galley 

They returned to the abode it was still in working condition and took no time at all to begin their stay Cere got the bed Greez decided to stay on the mantis clamoring he was more comfortable there. Cal thought he didn’t trust being within striking distance of Zara. 

The first night was long. They woke up to screaming. Full of pain and fear. By the time Cal was on his feet Siv was already holding Zara as she screamed. The screaming stopped almost as soon as it started. Siv was shoved away from the small Twi’lek. 

“You think I’m weak! Unable to control myself don’t you! Well your wrong I am much more powerful than you are! I don’t need you!” Her voice was angry and sharp.

“Zara I don’t think any of that. I know what that it’s hard to trust others but I promise you can trust us. You’re safe here.” His hands were rubbing her lekku. She slowly began to relax. Slowly she looked around.

“They’re watching me.” She said quietly embarrassment tinting her words.” They all averted their eyes on shame.

“They were just startled Love.” He kissed her forehead. She was now fully relaxed.

“I’m sorry Siv I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Everything just makes me so angry and then I feel guilty for being angry and that just makes me angrier.” 

“You have nothing to apologize for my love. Now why don’t you try and get some sleep alright?” She nodded but as Siv tried to stand she held onto his hand.

“Stay.” The words were quiet and almost shy. But Siv smiled and nodded.

“Of course.” The two lay down and the room was silent once more. Cal reached out with his hand only for it to bump into Merrin’s halfway there. Clearly she had the same idea. He entwined his fingers with hers and they both drew comfort in each other’s presence. 

It was all he needed to know that she was close by and safe. He was at ease. Siv was happy to have Zara back Merrin was holding his hand. Cere well he never knew what was going on on Ceres head. Of course Greez was happy as long as he wasn’t getting shot at and he had food. 

Cal squeezed Merrin’s hand gently. Everything was alright.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is partially dedicated to Lammen_Gorthaur who got me interested in the seventh sister and let me just say she’s really awesome and I would have loved to see her in the game.

It was the third day on Bogano after her initial outburst Zara was much calmer. Of course she still had nearly bipolar mood swings, but they were much more manageable than before. Cal had expected several weeks of laying low and trying to get rid of Zara’s conditioning. Cal didn’t know it but he was very mistaken. It came out of nowhere. One moment he was meditating near a cliff overlooking the great divide, the next the scream of a TIE fighter was splitting through his eardrums.

It was a TIE interceptor just like the ones they saw on mygeeto. It landed and none other than the Seventh Sister pulled herself out. He was too far away from the crew to warn them and they may not have even heard the fighter. 

“Back so soon Seven?” Her mask was off. She was younger than he’d first anticipated just barely older than Cal. She was taking her time rather than rushing in. She sauntered closer to Cal.

“Yes, I came back for my dearest sister. Also I wanted to see you again. I see why Second Sister was so obsessed with you.” Her voice was strange Cal had thought it was the mask that caused the slight echo but it seemed to happen naturally. 

“Oh yeah why’s that?” She laughed shortly.

“You’re very interesting, and oh so handsome. I’m sure we could have lots of fun together.” 

“I appreciate the offer but no thanks. I’m quite happy here.” She laughed and moved closer. She was very fluid in her movements. 

She ignited her lightsaber. As did Cal only seconds later. The Inquisitor laughed long and loud 

“This will be sooo much fun.” She stabbed at him. Cal bright his lightsaber up and into hers knocking it off it’s intended course. She laughed and swung back. He blocked and pushed her away him. He swung towards the Mirialan who dodged out of the way. Frustrated he spun and swung back into her direction catching her on the shoulder. 

“Agh. Why would you do that? I thought we were starting to get along.” She let her guard down and he swung again. This time she pushed him back he slid along the soft mud but kept his balance. She rushed him igniting her second blade and spinning it in a blur of crimson. He swung up into the spinning blade catching it and interrupting his opponents attack. He used the force to slow her down pushed her back. Which her slowed reactions she was flung back into the air and and collided with her ship. Just as he rushed forward to press his attack every muscle in his body seized up. It felt like he was cramping over his entire body. The Inquisitor stalked forward grabbing her lightsaber with the force. He tried to struggle but it was no use. She finally closed the distance. Cal expected the white hot flash of pain and then the agonizing ache of a lightsaber wound but it never came. Instead a gloved hand with sharp nails grabbed his face. The Mirialan’s face was right in his own. Her hot breath against his face. The nails began to dig into his skin blood spilling from his face. She took her hand away to lick one of her nails.

“Oh I’m going to enjoy this Handsome.” She ignited the lightsaber once again and was about to start whatever torture she had in mind when a shout took her attention.

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” Merrin’s normally calm and logical voice was full of rage. The deep echo of Nightsister Magick resounded through the Bog. Her eyes were glowing that bright toxic green. It also filled her hands. 

The woman in front of him was suddenly yanked away and Cal regained control of his body. He collapsed to the ground briefly before standing and reigniting his lightsaber. 

Merrin lifted the Inquisitor into the air and then slammed her back down. She screamed lifting her out of the mud then throwing her back towards the ship.

“You never told me you were taken Handsome. Well it won’t matter for long. I’ll make sure you belong to me one day. She jumped high into the air and into the TIE Interceptor. She tone off and streaked into the air. 

“CAL! Are you alright!?” Merrin quickly rushed to his side. She put her hand to his cheek. He winced slightly and she pulled it back. Her fingers came back bloody.

“What has she done to your face?” Her voice was gentle but he could feel her body trembling with rage.

“Don’t worry Merrin I’m alright, they’re just a couple of cuts.” She furrowed her brow.

“Those will most definitely scar.” She said it without any obvious emotion but she was angry. 

“Cal I am sorry I did not get here earlier we could not hear what was happening. But something felt wrong. So I got her as fast as I could.” She was talking very quickly. 

Cal grabbed her face with both hands forcing her to look him in the eyes. 

“Merrin! I’m okay I promise.” She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He put his arms around her waist and hugged back.

They got back to the abode which felt eerily quiet. Siv and Zara were playing some kind of Card game that Cal didn’t recognize. 

“We need to get out of here.” They all looked at him confused. “The seventh sister knows about this planet she just attacked me while I was meditating.” 

“What? You mean you were dueling an inquisitor and we didn’t even know about it?” Cal nodded to Siv’s question 

“She nearly beat me too, but thankfully Merrin intervened.” Zara sat her eyes downcast her body language broadcasting shame and guilt. 

“It’s my fault she came here.” Siv turned towards her. 

“No Zara this isn’t your fault.” Siv insisted to her.

“I sent her our location.” Cal made eye contact with the other members. 

“Zara why?” She kept her head down but answered Siv’s question.

“It was winning.” Those three small words sent shards of pain through Cals heart. She had suffered so much at the hands of the inquisitors. 

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help myself.” Cal slowly walked towards Zara he sat down across from her. He took her hands. She finally looked up.

“It’s okay Zara. It’s not your fault, I forgive you.” A single tear traced down her cheek. Her mouth moved but no words came out. 

She finally found her words. “How can you forgive me after that? You could have been killed.” Cal thought back to when he was kidnapped by the Haxion Brood. He vividly remembered what Greez said to him after he was rescued. 

“Because Zara, everyone makes mistakes.” He thought “and you can’t judge a person by their mistakes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this deeper portrayal Lammen


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m thinking off writing a one shot about Commander Crow and how he felt during order 66 let me know if you would be interested in that also Happy New Year

They left Bogano shortly after their conversation gathering what little belongings they had and reloading them onto the Mantis. 

They needed somewhere new. Somewhere the empire wouldn’t find them. No One could agree on a planet. Until finally Zara mentioned Saleucami.

“Saleucami? what’s there?” She shrugged her shoulders. 

“Pretty much nothing. Which makes it nearly perfect for us. Don’t you think.” Cal nodded, it made sense to him. They agreed it could be a good choice and they set a course.

When they finally arrived on Salucemi they set down their ship. They saw a far off settlement and agreed they would check it out before setting up their own camp. 

Cal, Siv, and Merrin were going to check it out. Cal and Siv were there as backup. Merrin would make any negotiations with the settlement owners. 

They hiked through a large farm land before coming to a large central road. They followed it for several miles before coming a farmhouse, rickety and haphazard, Cal was surprised it was still standing. 

“Stop! Who are you and what is your business here?” Cal felt a cold wave rise through his body from his feet to his head. He could recognize that voice anywhere. It was a voice shared by millions. It was the voice of a Clone. 

Cal pushed Merrin behind him and drew his lightsaber. He saw a flash of purple beside him that told him Siv had the same idea.

“A lightsaber I haven’t seen one of those in ages.” Cal felt hot fury flow through him at that. 

“Yeah I bet you haven’t. Not since you gunned down the Jedi!” He heard Merrin’s voice but the words didn’t register with him.

The owner of the voice strode out of one of the fields. Cals suspicions were confirmed. It was a Clone, he was old likely in his mid thirties. But Cal knew he would still be a skilled fighter.

“What’re you talking about?” This should have set off an alarm in Cal’s brain but it only made him angrier.

“The purge when all of the clones turned on us and killed thousands of Jedi!” The Clone was clearly confused.

“Hold on I think there’s been a mistake. I never killed any Jedi. I wasn’t even a clone.” Now Cal paused, truly confused. He knew he couldn’t trust this man, but at the same time he clearly didn’t know what Cal was talking about. 

“Well then who are you?” The man stood up straighter. 

“I’m Cut Lawquane. I was a clone during the Battle of Geonosis. But I deserted the GAR after I was left for dead.” Cal lowered his lightsaber. 

“I’m guessing that means Rex turned me on and you’re here to arrest me for crimes against the Republic.” Now Cal was really thrown off kilter.

“You don’t know do you?” Siv didn’t wait for an answer. “The Republic is gone, overthrown almost 6 years ago. In its place an Empire has risen with its sole purpose full control of the galaxy and killing all force sensitives.” Cal saw the man take in this new information.

“And What about the Jedi? Surely they wouldn’t have let this happen.” Siv deactivated his lightsaber returning it to his belt. Cal did the same. 

“It seems we have a lot to talk about Cut.”

Cut was quite hospitable despite their rocky meeting. He allowed them to enter his house, meet his family and even done with him. Afterwards they told him about what he had missed in the wake of his desertion. He was shocked by what had happened. And agreed to let them use his land to lay low as long as they didn’t attract any attention otherwise they would have to leave. 

They agreed to his conditions without hesitation and even offered their services around the farm. Cut accepted and the three returned to the ship to spread the good news.

On the walk back Cal noticed Siv seemed nervous. He set a hand on his friends shoulder bringing him out of his thoughts.

“What’s got you so worked up Siv?” Siv gently shook his head before responding.

“I’m worried about Zara. What if she had another relapse into an inquisitor. What if she attacked Cere and Greez.”

Cere is tough she wouldn’t let Zara hurt herself or anyone else for that matter. There’s nothing to worry about.” 

It seemed Siv’s fears were totally unfounded because when they returned Zara was fast asleep. Curled up on Siv’s supply bag. She looked peaceful and harmless. 

After explains the situation to the others they moved the mantis into a safe spot, hidden for the most part by the massive flora inhabiting the planet. When they returned to the farmhouse Cut showed them into the barn. Then 10 minutes later thy were all settled down for the night. Cal and Merrin were sharing a on side of a by bale. On the other was Siv and Zara. Cal heard them whispering about what the future might hold for the two of them. These words seemed to comfort Zara and the hope of their love made Cal thankful they were once again together.

After helping the Lawquanes on their farm it was mid afternoon and Cal and Siv decided they would practice their dueling skills. The day was hot and so both were soon covered in sweat. It started simple with just static dueling but soon enough they were both swinging hard and dodging with all they had. Siv hadn’t lost any strength through his journey. In fact Cal thought he may have only increased his power. They broke apart after a saber lock and both began to circle. Cal’s lightsaber hilt was now slick with sweat. He noticed out of the corner of his eye that the two girls had come to watch them duel. He looked back at Siv. He knew it too.

Now it seemed that they had an audience they both felt they had something to prove. They renewed their fight with vigor.

Cal swung overhead as soon as he felt their blades connect he swung again from the side. Siv caught the blade again and pushed hard against Cal’s it put him in a very vulnerable position with his whole torso exposed. He stepped back and got into his guard. Siv slowly advanced. His saber slowly swaying with his body. Cal never noticed the natural grace that Siv possessed in battle. He moved like a Cat slowly but gracefully. Cal decided to try an aggressive approach he lunged forward causing Siv to back step. Cal gained more confidence and moved to close the gap again. Siv blocked his attacks but he was still retreating. Cal began to swing more forcefully thinking he had the momentum in the fight. Then suddenly as he went for a strike Siv was no longer there. He realized his mistake when a booted foot suddenly pushed him forward from behind. He was thrown to the ground on his stomach and as he rolled over and attempted to rise a purple lightsaber blade was hanging above his throat.

“I think I got you.” Cal smiled embarrassed he had fallen for such a simple trick. Especially when he had seen Siv use it before. The lightsaber was withdrawn and a hand replaced it. Cal gratefully accepted was pulled to his feet. 

“Can’t believe I ever thought I was gonna win.” Siv laughed and slapped him on the back. 

“You had a decent chance actually if you had slowed down a little and to separate yourself from the situation and realize I didn’t have a reason to disengage.”

“Can I try?” The timid voice interrupted the mini lesson. Cal turned and saw Zara with her hands clasped in front of her , head hanging slightly already expecting rejection. 

“Do you think you’re ready?” She looked up at Siv and nodded slowly. 

“I think so yes.” Siv nodded and Cal stepped back sitting next to Merrin so that he could watch. 

Siv reaches into a pocket and withdrew Zara’s lightsaber. When she saw it her face lit up in wonder. She gently took it with both hands as if slightly afraid of it.

“You kept it?” He nodded.

“I carried it with me every day after I escaped, that way I always had you with me.” She ignited it and a green light lit her face.

They took up fighting positions and began. The low sun casting long shadows around their bodies. They started even slower than when Siv and Cal fought. 

Zara’s face was one of total concentration. They started with no definite positions but that quickly changed. Zara’s face became more intense and she started becoming more aggressive. She was swinging more and more often leaving her gaurd more and more open. She started to grunt and shout with her attacks then it was as if a slip was flipped and she became almost feral swinging violently and erratically. Her face no longer concentrated but just angry and contorted. And then the fight was over. As she went for an overhead swing Siv caught her wrist holding it above his head. 

She dropped the saber as if it burned her and she stepped back. 

“I-I’m s-sorry I don’t know w-what came over me.” She was slightly trembling and Siv held her hands. 

“It’s alright love I understand.” He picked you her lightsaber putting it back in her pocket and the two walked off returning to the barn. Cal turned towards Merrin. She smiled at him. 

“Did you enjoy the show?” She laughed.

“If you mean watching you get knocked around for a few minutes then yes. I did enjoy the show.” She smiled taking the sting out of he words. She leaned against him and laid her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her waist. They sat like that until the sun sank past the horizon. All of the sudden he didn’t mind getting beat by Siv.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter of 2020 also expect a very dark chapter 19

They were sitting at the small table inside the Lawquane house. Cere and Greez were getting supplies at a nearby populated planet. So the rest of the crew was eating with the farmers.

Cal, Merrin, Siv and Zara sat across from the small family. Cut sat next to his wife a Beautiful Pink Skinned Twi’lek. They had two children both half Twi’lek half human.   
They seemed to be around eleven to twelve. They were asking lots of questions about the rest of the galaxy. They were especially interested in Merrin. They knew humans and they knew Twi’leks. However they had never met a Dathomiran. Merrin took their stares and questions without complaint. However she drew the line when they asked to touch her tattoos. Cal laughed at her horrified expression. Their parents were equally horrified by the children’s behavior and sent them away. 

Suu took a special liking to Zara asking her story and then Empathizing with her story reaching out to grab her hand when Zara told of her time in the fortress. She didn’t mention her inquisitor past but Cal didn’t blame her, nor would he ever say a word about it. 

Cut wanted to know more about the Jedi order having only served briefly under a Jedi Commander. Cal and Siv both told of their experiences in the Jedi order ending with Order 66. The room was quiet after their stories. Cal felt himself falling into a dark hole. Talking about the Jedi reminded Cal of his old master. He felt a small soft hand slip into his own. He looked at Merrin. She had a sad smile on her face. He squeezed her hand. She squeezed back. Reminding each other that even though the orders of the past had fallen they still had each other. 

Zara got stronger every day she was almost over the major relapses of her inquisitorial conditioning. It was the third week on Saleucami. Cal was meditating but he sense turmoil nearby. Very nearby. In fact it was right behind him. Siv’s presence in the force exuded worry and nervousness. He had waited for Siv to start the conversation, clearly that wasn’t going to happen.

Cal took matter into his own hands. “What’s wrong Siv?” His friend startled by Cals sudden voice struggled to find the start of his sentence.

“I wanted you to see the rest of my story. I talked to Zara about it and she agreed.” Cal didn’t like the idea of going through that imperial torture. His only experience was in the Vault from trillas lightsaber. But now his psychometry was much more powerful. 

“Siv, I-I don’t know I can. I don’t know if I can go through that. The last time on Mygeeto it was different. I wasn’t seeing it. I was experiencing it. I felt everything you felt.” Siv nodded.

“I understand Cal. But there’s another reason. The Seventh Sister is hellbent I’m bringing you in and turning you into an Inquisitor. We want you to be prepared for what will happen to you.” He listened to his friend. He knew that they had his best interest at heart. Pain now meant life later. Cal nodded.

“Leave the lightsaber with Merrin please. I’ll do it tonight.” Siv placed a hand on his smaller friends shoulder. 

“You should have her with you in case things become too much.” Cal nodded Siv turned to leave but cal called out to him.

“Siv!” The other Jedi turned around head cocked.

“Yeah?” 

“I want you to know after these last few months I’ve come to think of you as my family. As the brother I never got the chance to have.” Siv stepped closer his eyes glassy.

“I guess I just want you to know before it’s too late that I love you Siv. And I know that I can always rely on you.” Cal was pulled into a bear hug. His feet were lifted off the ground and his ribs felt like they were being cracked. 

“I love you too Cal.” 

He was sitting with Merrin in front of him their knees almost touching. The lightsaber day between them it seemed to radiate pain even from a distance. Cal was itching to touch it, he also never wanted to touch it again. Merrin set her hands on his knees. 

“Cal are you sure about this?” He swallowed trying to ease his dry throat. No he wasn’t sure about this. 

“I need to be ready just in case.” She frowned. 

“Do not forget that I am here for you and that you are safe.” Cal smiled at her before reaching towards the lightsaber. His fingers outstretched inching closer. He could already hear screams of pain echoing in his mind. Felt the seemingly impossible chill of that fortress. He felt the pain. And then the world went black around him as he was sucked into the memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys just want to clarify that this was a no homo love alright I know how you people can be. Just like Obi-wan loved Anakin.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter felt really long while I was writing it. It also won’t be the last time we see the torture Siv and Zara went through.

His skin was cold and clammy. The metal grating on the floor dug into his skin. But that wasn’t what caused him the pain he felt. Her screams he could hear them from here. Full of pain and anguish. He had tried to reach out with the force to alleviate her suffering but it only seemed to increase the pain she felt. He had at one point thrown himself repeatedly at the red particle shielding separating him from the rest of the fortress. After realizing there was nothing he could do he curled into a ball and began to sob. 

Several hours had passed. occasionally Zara’s screaming would subside and he felt gratitude. But then it would resume only minutes later. His heart fell when they dragged her back to the cell her head limp and hanging low. Her feet dragged on the floor. The rough ground cutting and tearing at the unprotected skin there. As soon as they had arrived they were searched and all of their belongings were taken along with their shoes. There was vomit staining the front of her tunic. Her wrists were chafed by the restraints. Her skin was pale and held a sickly pallor. 

The particle shielding disappeared. The two stormtroopers threw her to the ground. She landing with a dull thud. He rushed to her side pulling her gently against his body. He wiped the sweat from her forehead. Her body was cold soaked in sweat. She shook In his arms. Her eyes opened they were dull and glazed over.

“Siv?” He nodded desperately tears filling his eyes.

“Yes Zara It’s me I’m right here.” Her hands weekly grasped his tunic. Then his world was shattered as two rough hands grabbed his clothing from behind. He was roughly yanked back pulled away from Zara.

“NO! NOO!” He tried to fight but they were too much for him. They dragged him away he struggled violently until a blaster was slammed into the back of his head. Bright spots danced in front of his eyes and he was dazed. They wrapped their arms under his own and dragged him away. 

He was shoved roughly in a chair and restraints were attached to his arms and legs. He looked around he was in a large room lit in an angry red light. Unlike his cell this room was hot and stifling. The two stormtroopers who dragged him in began typing on a console. He heard the clicking of boots slowly closing in on him. The sound echoed throughout the room.

“Let’s begin I have somewhere to be.” The voice was sinister and mechanical. It warbled slightly. He couldn’t see it but he felt a dark presence nearby. Full of hate and rage. 

He was about to speak when suddenly he felt a pain more intense than anything he had ever felt before. His voice didn’t work for several seconds. Then suddenly he heard a scream pull of pain and horror. Then he felt it in his throat. It took him several moments to realize it was his voice. His mind was on the verge of shutting down but every time the world began to go dark the pain stopped, then it would begin again seconds later. The pain was mind numbing he couldn’t think. Couldn’t distract himself. He was in the room for hours. When suddenly the machine was shut off. He could hardly breath the pain was so intense. 

A gloved hand reached out to touch his face. It was almost gentle caressing his face.

“You will be mine.” It was the same voice. This time he recognized it as being slightly feminine. 

“Bring him back to the cell and clean them off.” After that she laughed and the hand was withdrawn. The stormtroopers removed his restraints and pulled him out of the chair. They dragged him back to the cell. Zara was curled up in the corner shivering she didn’t move when the shield was removed and Siv was thrown to the ground. His face pressed into the grates it hurt but he couldn’t move. His muscles were tense and sore. His head pounded and his throat was raw he heard Zara crying. He slowly dragged himself towards her. Slowly closed the distance between the two of them. He finally managed to touch her leg she flinched but didn’t move. He pulled himself to her he positioned himself above her his body covering hers. He had to protect her at all costs. He wouldn’t lose her. 

He had no sense of time. No idea how long they had spent in the prison. But he did know after several torture sessions his body began to feel weak. He began to smell. He found himself staring off at nothing the cell got colder and colder everyday. He was sure at times he could see his breath. 

“Shower time.” He heard the voice of the storm trooper at the door of the cell. The words held a cruel humor to them. He turned to look at the trooper when a blast of water hit him. The water was freezing and under a painful amount of pressure. He tried to protect Zara from it but water drenched the whole cell. They were hosed down for several minutes and then it mercifully stopped.

Zara shook in his arms from the cold or the shock Siv wasn’t sure. He would have sobbed but there were no tears left in his system. He hadn’t eaten in what felt like days. He did his best to try to rub some warmth back into Zara. Suddenly she looked up at him a clarity he hadn’t seen in her eyes since they’d arrived here.

“We aren’t going to make it out of here Siv.” He stood his mouth agape and then the troopers were back dragging him off water still dripping off of him. They dragged him back to the chair and strapped him in. His body was still freezing in the swelteringly hot room. 

The arms of the chair lowered and the pain started again. This time it was worse, somehow it was worse. 

Cal was pulled out of his Psychometry suddenly. He fell back screaming. The pain till echoing through his body. Tears were streaming down his face. 

Merrin grabbed his arm and pinned them back before crawling on top of him. She grabbed both sides of his face and forced him to look at her. 

“Cal! Cal! Calm down, you are safe. You are safe.” Cals breath hitched slightly. He grabbed her hands on his face. Tears still running down his cheeks onto Merrin’s fingers. She rubbed her thumbs across his cheekbones. Siv and Zara were standing slightly back from them.

“It was so real.” He whispered to Merrin.

“I know Cal.” She smoothed back his hair gently running her fingers through it. “But you are safe now.” 

She kissed his forehead and he fell against her body. Head resting against her neckHer hands settled on the back of his head and his lower back.

“I tried to get you out several times but you wouldn’t let go.” He sighed against her skin.

“Thank you Merrin.” She helped him stand and led him to the hay bale. She set him down and he began to drift off into a deep sleep. He felt Merrin lay down beside him. She closed the distance between them holding him close to her. 

“Sleep Cal you need your strength.” And so he closed his eyes and slept.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote myself into a corner a bit at the beginning of this story. Especially with the events of the escape but I think I made it work

Cal woke up exhausted. He felt like he hadn’t slept at all. His eyes felt like they had been sandblasted. His hands We’re wrapped in Merrin’s robes. Their legs were intwined their faces just inches apart. Her breath tickling his face. 

He brushed a strand of hair off of her face and smiled. Then he slowly untangled himself and stood. It was early morning the sun still hadn’t risen. He stretched and climbed up to the top of the barn. He looked to the horizons for the massive sun. Over time the sky began to glow brilliant pinks oranges and yellows. Then a sliver of the sun peeked over the horizon. Cal watched it rise thinking his whole life he had been running. He wished he could be like Cut. Wished he could settle down and raise a family on a quiet planet. Of course he knew he could never do that. The empire wouldn’t give up. They would hunt him until he was dead. Still it was a nice thought. He wondered if Merrin wanted a family. 

What did she want. What did any of them want. 

“Cal. What are you doing up here.” He turned to see Merrin crawling up onto the roof of the barn. He held out a hand for her. She took it and he pulled her up. They walked to the edge and sat.

“Just watching the sunrise. And thinking.” She tilted her head and considered him.

“Do not hurt yourself.” He smiled weakly at her joke. “What are you thinking about.” She asked seriously this time taking in his expression.

“The future.” She looked at him waiting for him to continue. “We can’t always run from the empire. But even if we did get away what would we do? What would you do?” She didn’t respond at first. But Cal waited.

“I don’t know but as long as we’re together we can be happy, Yes?” He smiled at her. 

“Yeah I guess that’s all that really matters.” She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. 

“I am envious of Cut and his family.” He looked at her the words seem to hold a deeper meaning. She was facing the sun it’s golden rays bathing her face in an ethereal glow. She looked at him. His breath caught as he remembered how truly beautiful she was. “I think one day I would like my own family.” They looked at each other and cal swallowed. His heart had suddenly began to beat rapidly. His palms were slightly sweaty. 

“When we are ready.” She smiled and kissed him again on the lips. Her words finally registered in his mind. We. When we are ready. He smiled widely at her. 

“I would like that.” She smiled back at his words then set her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her. Then together they watched the sun rise blast the horizon and begin it’s journey through the sky. 

They were huddled around the lightsaber. This time it was a circle. Cal wanted Siv and Zara to be apart of this. It was their memories after all he wanted their support. He has known they were strong he just didn’t realize how terrible what they went through was. He looked at all of them. Siv his silent nod gave Cal courage. Zara smiled slightly at him. Then finally Merrin. She squeezed his hand. He had to see this through. He took a deep breath and grabbed the lightsaber. 

He was still in the torture chair. He had passed out this time. The pain was too much for his addled brain. He still felt tingles of agony throughout his body. Every time he swallowed it felt like razor blades slid down his throat. Everything was tense and aching. He felt the presence again it was right in front of him. He opened his eyes and looked. It was a woman in a black uniform. She had a full helmet on. It’s visor was red seemingly lit from within the helmet. She was speaking to him he could hear the mechanical voice but the words didn’t reach his mind. 

He was removed from the chair and dragged away. His torture session was over as they reached the cell he heard Zara dry sobbing. They removed the particle shield and he was again thrown to the ground. The troopers were never gentle. Sara scurried into the corner as the troopers walked towards her. Siv tried to shout out but the words were slurred and weak. They grabbed he arms and something inside Siv snapped.

“NO!” He threw his hands out and the soldiers stopped he felt their airways begin to close. They began to choke. He squeezed harder with the force. their windpipes collapsed against his force. They were still alive but they wouldn’t be for long. They were suffocating. It was too late to stop so he continued. They eventually fell to the ground completely still. Siv stood he felt powerful. Strong. He quickly got Zara standing. The Cell was still open. He dragged he out and away from the torture room. They ran for what must have been miles. The troopers that tried to oppose them were destroyed. Their bodies left as mangled heaps. They were near an exit he was sure. As he nears a lift he froze. There was someone at the end of the hallway. It was another one of those monsters in the black uniform. This one was a man. He ignited his saber. The hallway glowing with the red light. 

The man began to laugh. “You think you can escape?” You’re going to die here.” He charged them Siv tried using the force to push him away but it didn’t have an effect. He came at them they tried to avoid his slashes but they were both tired.

The mans hand shot forward and grabbed Zara. Siv screamed out but it was too late. The man dragged her forward and impaled him on his lightsaber. Her mouth was open and gasped. She fell to the ground. 

His heart felt cold and heavy inside of him. He allowed the heat to fill his body and he saw the Man thrown back into a wall. He crumpled there still alive but unconscious. Siv knelt at Zara’s body. She was still her eyes closed. He knew he wouldn’t be strong enough to carry her. A door slid open and stormtroopers filled the hallway. He ran. Tears of shame and sorrow forced themselves out of his eyes. He threw himself into a lift. It opened and he was free. A lightsaber ignited somewhere on his left. 

“Going somewhere?” It was her his torturer. She had both their lightsabers on her belt. He reached out with the force and grabbed them. He never duel wielding in his training but he didn’t have a choice. He saw a ship straight ahead. But he would have to get past her. 

“If you stay I promise I’ll kill you quickly. If you run I’ll hunt you down and break your spirit until you’re just like us.”

“Who are you.” She laughed. It was cruel and mechanical.

“I’m an Inquisitor. And it’s my job to kill jedi like you.” She jumped at him. He threw his hand out and every emotion he could muster flowed from his body towards her. She froze midair. He pushed and she was thrown back. He ran climbing into the ship and taking off just as she began to recover. 

He flew the TIE to Sullust and hitched a ride on a freighter to Jehda. He spent several hard years there. Everyday he felt the loss of Zara. He nearly gave up. He had nothing left. He was surrounded by stormtroopers. This was it this was how it ended. He wouldn’t go down without a fight. So he fought. The he heard a voice.

“This Way!” So he followed it. 

Cal opened his eyes. He was still clutching the lightsaber in a death grip. His fingers ached from holding so tightly. He slowly let it go. Siv reached across and took it from him.

Cal looked at his friend. He didn’t know what to say to him. He knew that those memories would haunt him just as they did the two Jedi across from him. He understood now. There weren’t words that could do anything. Wounds like that could never truly be healed. Because even the scars caused pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys you know Commander Crow from the order 66 flashback. Well I wrote a story about the experience from his perspective it’s called Crow’s Call if you’re interested.


	21. Chapter 21

They left Saleucami after that. They thanked the Lawquane’s for their hospitality and loaded their ship. As they were aging goodbye the two children both gave Merrin a hug. She smiled at Cal as she ruffled their hair. He smiled back remembering their conversation on the barn. 

Cal were surprisingly hesitant to leave. In such a short time he had come to think of the Lawquane’s as almost a family. Not only that, he had associated them with safety. It felt strange to return to the large and dangerous galaxy after so long on the small safe planet. 

“We will miss having you here.” Cal looked up and found Suu standing near their ship. He smiled at her. 

“I’m sure we’ll miss being here.” She smiled back and nodded at Merrin.

“Take good care of that girl. She is one of a kind.” He looked down his face reddening. 

“I will.” She nodded once and turned around to begin her walk to the barn.

As they took of the crew of the Mantis was silent they knew they were about to put themselves back into danger. 

They decided to make good on their promise to Mari Kosan and the Wookie resistance. 

The trip to Kashyyyk was longer than expected. They first had to get to a hyperspace lane before they could get into hyperdrive. 

Cal decided to eat and get food for when he joined the Wookiees. After eating he sat down next to Merrin. He looked at her and waited for her to notice.

“Are you coming?” She nodded solemnly. 

“Someone has to keep you safe.” They smiled at each other before falling into a comfortable silence. As long as they were together they’d be fine. 

Siv and Zara spoke quietly heads close, hands together. When they set down on the forested planet they both stood. Cal and Merrin both pulled on their ponchos and followed the two out of the ship. The warm, moist air was a stark contrast to the cold, crisp air aboard the Mantis. The group looked around and finally at Cal. He contacted Mari on the secure comm channel she had given him and then led the way towards the resistance forces.

The first day was spent briefing them about the condition of the planet as well as the situation among the fighters.

It turned out that they had lost more land than they had originally anticipated. There were two major areas that had been overrun by the Imperials. They Sent Merrin and Cal to one site. Siv and Zara were sent to the other one. 

The Imperials were set up inside a small pass that cut through a large mountain range. It was the only way through that didn’t take several weeks to pass. 

They decided the best way would be to wait for a patrol to pass them and ambush them.

They were set up in the thick brush around the narrowest point of the pass. A patrol was just down the way coming towards them. Cal gave a signal to the fighters around him. Merrin was laying down next to him. Her face was covered in mud to reduce the risk of being seen, he had done the same. They were close he could see the sun reflecting off that ridiculous white armor. 

Cal made a low chirping. It was similar enough to the wildlife that the stormtroopers wouldn’t recognize it as being man made. The Wookiees however being acutely familiar with the fauna on the planet would immediately sense the difference.

The sound returned slightly down the way. The troopers were finally in position. 

“NOW! They rushed out of the foliage and tore into the stormtroopers. They didn’t have a chance. Cal had barely even cut down two of the troopers when the Wookiees hit them like a train. They were thrown across the pass into the rocky sides, slammed into the ground and even in one case knocked together by a particularly large Wookiee. Cal felt a surge of pride as Merrin used her Magick to knock the blasters out of their hands before they could fire at their attackers. 

With the patrol out of the way they carried on towards the imperial encampment. They had surprisingly few troops there for such an important position. 

Two squads were present, most of them were lounging around at ease and relaxed. They caught them completely by surprise. The fight was quick. Cal swung his saber at anyone who tried to stop them. The battle was nearly over. When he felt it. Something was wrong. Horribly wrong. Right as he began to turn he felt a burning pain in his chest. He gasped as a stream of red ripped through his body. A steaming hole was left in the blasters wake. He was numb for a moment before the pain kicked him. It felt like someone had punched a hot durasteel rod straight through his body. He collapsed to the ground and a haze of green filled the air. He managed to lift his head and watch as a trooper was lifted into the air and bent in half sharply. A loud snapping sound could be heard even through Cals ringing ears. 

Merrin’s face suddenly appeared in front of him. Her hands grabbed his face and her lips moved frantically. Her eyes still had a faint green light as it slowly flowed out of her system. Tears poured from her face and he wanted to reach out and wipe them from her eyes. But his arm wouldn’t move. He felt cold. Weak. She was yelling now but he still couldn’t hear her. He felt blood seeping from his chest. She saw it and her hands rushed to cover the hole in his chest. It hurt. He wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

He somehow found the strength in his body to reach towards her. His hand ended up warmly cupping her cheek. Her own bloodied hands rested on his. He desperately tried to speak. He had to tell her. Finally he coughed up some blood and it seemed to clear his throat. He spoke. He couldn’t hear the words but he felt their vibrations in his body and he knew that he had spoken them correctly. 

“I love you Merrin.” Blood spilled from his mouth with the words. Cal felt Merrin sob above him and he was afraid he had upset her. Her lips were moving again. Slower he could read them 

“I love you too Cal Kestis.” He smiled weakly at her as he felt tears escape from his eyes. He closed his eyes as a deep sense of calm came to him. Light still shone through his eyelids. But slowly it began to fade. 

Through his closed eyes he saw a green tinted light. Then it turned black and everything was dark.


	22. Chapter 22

Everything was still dark. He was slowly floating through a sea of nothingness. He must be apart of the Cosmic Force now. He attempted to take a deep breath but was stopped by an agonizing pain in his chest. That shouldn’t have happened. Why did it hurt? He was dead. Light began to fill the dark nothingness until it was a strange shade of orange. Almost like his eyes were closed against a light. He opened them. He was laying down. 

It took him a moment to realize where he was. It was his room. His body felt still and his chest throbbed with every best of his heart. He tried to breath again and cried out as the pain returned. There was a sudden movement near his stomach. Merrin sat up. Her head must have been laid down against his body. She was holding his hand.

“Cal! Cal you are awake!” Her voice was loud and hurt his ears but he couldn’t have been happier to hear it.

“I thought I was dead.” His voice was hoarse and it hurt to talk. Tears filled her eyes at his words. 

“No you were shot and nearly died. Really the stormtrooper almost did us a huge favor. But Merrin decided she wanted you around a bit longer.” Cal smiled at Siv’s insult. Merrin glared at him and Zara hit him in the chest. But Siv just laughed.

“I was so afraid I lost you Cal.” Her voice was shaky and he could see a few tears running down her face. He reached up to brush them away. He heard Siv and Zara leave the room and he caressed Merrin’s face.

“But you didn’t. You saved me Merrin. Thank you.” She closed her eyes before speaking again.

“You must not be a very good Jedi If you got taken down by one stormtrooper.” He was glad she could make fun of him. He knew that meant he’d be fine.

“Well to be fair I never really did finish my training.” His smile was slightly forced due to the pain he felt. 

“I never finished mine either, but you do not see me lying in bed with a hole in my chest.” Her voice shook a little bit towards the end and he knew she was doing this for his benefit. 

“I guess you’re just better than me.” She nodded slowly moving closer to him. 

“Most certainly.” She closed the distance between them with a soft kiss, almost as if she was afraid she’d hurt him. Cal slowly sighed against her lips.

“I hope I’m not interrupting.” Cere’s voice caused them both to jump. They broke apart and Cal felt his face burn.

“How long have you been there?”

“Since you two have started talking. It’s good to see that you’re okay Cal.” He shrugged slightly and Cere left them alone in his room.

“That reminds me, we need to change your bacta-pad.” 

“Already?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Cal you’ve been unconscious for 3 Days.” He was shocked 3 days how much had he missed.

“Now I need you to sit up so that I can remove your shirt.” He laughed and she rolled her eyes at his immaturity. He listened to her commands and she pulled the light shirt off of his body. Her fingers brushing against his chest.

She removed the bandage and gingerly replaced it with a new one. She traced her fingers across his chest. Then slowly withdrew her hands.

“You should get some rest Cal.” She stood slowly. But cal grabbed her wrist. 

“Stay with me, please?” She smiled softly and nodded she crawled onto the cot with him. She laid her he and on his chest below the bandage and set her head on his bicep. 

“Cal?” Her voice was soft against his skin.

“Yeah Merrin?” She was quiet for a second.

“When you got hurt, you said something, and I do not know if I heard it because I wanted to hear it or if you truly said it...”

She was rambling slightly and she had stiffened against his body. He touched her face and she lifted her eyes to his.

“Merrin I love you.” Her mouth fell open slightly in shock. He cupped her face and kissed her again. 

“I love you too Cal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I fool anyone? No that’s fair just remember that no one is safe in this story ;). Also they love each other isn’t that wonderful. 
> 
> Don’t forget to check out Crow’s Call


	23. Chapter 23

He opened his eyes expecting to be back in the Mantis. That wasn’t the case. He was on a escape pod of a Venator. He was laying down next to someone else, But it wasn’t Merrin. The body was large. It’s purple skin was cold, and the large muscles were stiff. 

He shuffled back from the dead body of his old master. Cals ligtsaber was in the bodies hands clutched against his chest.

Why was he back here it didn’t make any sense. He felt a cold shiver in his body as crawled forward. He needed his lightsaber he could feel it. He reached out the cold unforgiving metal radiated emotion. Just before his fingers made contact Jaro Tapals massive hand grabbed his wrist.

“It’s your fault Cal. Your fault that I’m dead.” His voice was monotonous and lifeless. His eyes were open and they were a milky white they held nothing it was like looking into a void. Then they closed and his hand dropped from Cal’s wrist.

He didn’t move for some time. He as afraid if he did his master would grab him again. Eventually though he reached out and this time the Lasat was still as cal grabbed the lightsaber. 

He looked up and he was no longer in the escape pod. His lightsaber no longer in his hands. He was kneeling on the hull of a an old Venator class star destroyer. He couldn’t see the name plate but he somehow knew her name. The Fortitude.

He slowly rose from his position and looked into the vast scrapyard that was Bracca. He could see the Ibdis Maw it’s arms flowing lazily in the air. His airways tightened. He couldn’t be back here after all this time. He saw someone waving at him their large figure moving rather excitedly.

Cal slowly made his way off the ship. Lowering himself with a cable hanging to the ground. His throat was dry as he approached the now recognizable figure.

“Prauf?” His voice sounded weak and small. The Abednedo laughed at his timidity.

“Come on Cal we’ll be late if you don’t hurry up.” His friend walked off and cal followed unsure of what was happening. Prauf laughed and told jokes the entire way. 

Suddenly he stopped and turned around. His face was serious and his eyes held sadness, maybe even anger. 

Prauf reached behind his back and pulled out Cals lightsaber. Cal froze.

“This is yours isn’t it? This is what got me killed. You, are what got me killed.” Cal opened his mouth to try to explain himself. A cold fist enveloped his heart at his old friends accusatory tone.

“Don’t bother it’s too late for excuses Cal.” His voice was full of hatred, he didn’t understand Prauf wasn’t like this at all. Then a swath of red ignited behind Prauf. There stood the second sister. The two laughed and she swung her lightsaber through Prauf. His head fell from his shoulders. He kept laughing as his body fell to the ground. Then he suddenly stopped.

“It’s all your fault Cal! It’s all your Fault!” Tears poured out of Cals eyes at the accusation. His lightsaber rolled to his feet and he quickly scooped it up.

When he stood he still had the lightsaber. He was in a red room a chair to his side. Trilla stood in front of him holding her shoulder. Her eyes held a softness that he hadn’t seen until her final moments. 

“Trilla?” She smiled truly smiled and she looked normal. No longer an angry vengeful inquisitor. Just a lost woman.

“It’s your fault Cal Kestis.” Her voice was gentle. A sharp contrast to her words. She dropped her hand and blood began to stain her uniform. She stepped closer to him. Her hand reaching towards his face. It gently cupped his cheek.

“If only you’d been stronger Cal Kestis you could have saved me, you could have saved all of us.” He heard deep breathing nearby. Heavy footsteps he tried to move but couldn’t. Darth Vader stopped behind Trilla. 

“You could have saved us Cal.” A red blade ripped through Trilla. She stood unflinching. As it tore mercilessly through her body. They stood so close together that it exited through Trilla’s body and went into his own. His chest began to burn in agony as Trilla’s skin began to pale and rot leaving only her eyes untouched. They stared deep into Cals own before the life went out of them. The lightsaber was removed and they both fell to the ground. He stared into her lifeless eyes as Vader walked away. His body began to tremble and he opened his mouth to scream.

His scream tore through his throat as he sat up on his cot his body was slick with a cold sweat and his heart was racing. This only caused the wound in his chest to throb accordingly. He couldn’t speak couldn’t think. Merrin sat up next to him trying to calm him. Her gentle words had no effect as his ragged breathing burned in his chest. His fault. They were right it was all his fault. He had failed them all. Cal didn’t realize he had said it until Merrin grabbed both sides of his face and forced her to look at him her eyes gentle but worried. 

“Cal who? Who was right?” He felt his hands trembling. 

“Master Tapal. And and Prauf. Trilla. They were there. It was my fault. My fault that they’re dead.” Her face was lined with sorrow as she spoke.

“Cal it is not your fault any of it.” He shook his head vehemently. 

“If I was stronger I could have saved all of them.” One thumb began to stroke his cheekbone as she ran her other hand through his sweat soaked hair. 

“Cal everything you have lost has shaped you into the person you are today. With their sacrifices you have become the man you are. Remember them. Their love, their sacrifice, their memory. But do not blame yourself.” 

He collapsed against her body exhausted from what he had experienced. Merrin rubbed circles into his back and whispered words of comfort into his ear. He realized he was crying. His tears soaking into Merrin’s soft clothes. If she noticed she didn’t say anything. She just held him. After a while he sat up wiped his eyes and looked at the girl in front of him.

“Come here. I want to try something.” She had him lay on his stomach in between her legs his head rested on her stomach and his arms wrapped themselves around her waist. She ran her fingers through his hair. His breath was still shaky from crying but he had calmed significantly. 

“Merrin, are the Wookiees okay? Did they take back their land they lost?” He couldn’t see her face but he felt her smile. He also heard it in her voice when she responded. 

“Always so selfless. Yes they regained all the land they lost from their absence. Now you need to get some rest if you ever want that hole in your chest to heal.” He shook his head weakly.

“I don’t know if I can.” But even as he said it his eyes felt heavy almost as if his body agreed with her. Traitor. He thought as he began to drift off.

“Do not worry Cal I am here.” She began to hum a gentle melody. He had never heard it but he felt instantly calmed by it. Perhaps less by the tune and more by the singer. Her fingers continued to gently pull and brush his hair. When she spoke again her voice came from a long tunnel.

“Sleep well, my brave Jedi.” He knew he was safe in her arms. She would protect him from any bad dreams he could feel it. He slept. A deep restful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I wish I had a Merrin. Also I feel like Even though Cal faces his inner demons on Dathomir that he still blames himself for all the lives lost.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly a filler chapter. Also chapters are gonna slow down a bit seeing as I’m back in school so please be patient.

Even with daily bacta pads the injury would take several days to heal enough for him to do any sort of activity involving his upper body. So no climbing no fighting, and as Merrin bluntly put it no being a hero. He had to sleep and do low strain chores around the mantis. He was miserable. It could have been a lot worse. He told Merrin she could go back out there and help Siv and Zara retake Kashyyyk. He didn’t want that at all though because she was the one thing keeping him sane. He truly did enjoy their time together but he didn’t want her to feel cooped up. She told him that it was no fun without him anyways. He wasn’t sure he entirely believed her but he didn’t argue the point.

Since there was little else to do he slept. A lot. Which of course meant he got nightmares. A lot. It could be worse though because when he had a nightmare Merrin woke him up and they would cuddle until he felt safe enough to sleep again. They cuddled, a lot. 

Merrin started using a sort of potion that would lessen the frequency of his nightmares. It helped but it couldn’t completely erase them. 

Whenever Siv and Zara returned to the ship they would bring stuff they found and Cal would use his psychometry on them. It helped to practice it helped him feel in control. Until he found something he didn’t want to. 

He was helping Merrin Sort through some old stuff on the Mantis he came across some of Zara’s stuff. Including her inquisitors uniform. He began to remove it from the small crate. As his fingers brushed the fabric. His psychometry kicked in. He was completely unprepared for what came next. He didn’t have time to put up any sort of barrier or even mentally prepare himself for what might come.

She was on a desert planet windy and hot had it not been for the large ocean nearby. She was hunting, there were rumors of a Jedi on Savareen. It wouldn’t take long, there were very few civilizations on the planet and they would arrive unnoticed by the locals. 

Zara marched up the Main Street of the village people watched her from windows and door ways. She could feel the Jedi. They were close. There at the end of the road A young Rhodian it must have barely  
Been a Youngling when the purge took place. How it escaped she wasn’t sure perhaps off planet on a training exercise. No matter she had to do what she came her for. 

“Come closer child. You were once training to be a Jedi weren’t you?” The Rhodian didn’t move it watched her with wife fearful eyes. Her purge troopers stood beside he blasters raised ready to fire at a moments notice. 

“If you come willingly we will spare your life. You will know power like never before.” The child shook his head in fear unable to speak. Zara don’t want to kill the poor thing. But she had no choice. A tear escaped her eye unknown to anyone around her as she gave the orders. The child didn’t even have a lightsaber and she felt an intense pain in her chest as he was mercilessly gunned down. The small body was filed with blaster bolts and Zara felt a small price of her remaining humanity die with him. 

“Very good Commander.” She strode back to her ship. Upon entering the Interceptor and removing her helmet a sob escaped her lips. Tears streamed down her face. This wasn’t her fault right? She had no other choice. That’s not true she could have killed her troopers and protected the youngling. But if she did that she would be tortured further. They wouldn’t let her go.

She hated what she had become. Yet she was powerless to stop her descent into the monster that awaited her. 

Cal fell back from the crate that held the uniform. Merrin came to his side and placed her hand on his shoulder. 

“What did you see?” Merrin had seen his psychometry in action enough to recognize its effects and when it was happening.

“It was Zara, she was hunting down a youngling that escaped the purge. She didn’t want to but she was afraid of what might happen to her if she didn’t. She was so afraid. She felt so helpless. Merrin sighed.

“I do not think you should tell her what you saw. It could only cause pain.” Cal nodded at her words, he agreed. Still he felt such sorrow at what she had experienced.

He slowly rose and told Merrin he needed some rest. He slowly made his way to the back of the Mantis and laid down. He didn’t want to sleep but he wasn’t sure he could keep digging through those memories. After a while he felt the bed dip as Merrin joined him.

“Your wound should be healed soon and we can get back out there.” He looked at he and smiled. 

“You know it hasn’t been so bad. I got to spend a lot of time with the most beautiful girl in the galaxy.” She smiled shyly as her face blushed slightly. He kissed both her cheeks and finally her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and moved her body flush against his. 

They stayed like that. After all they did cuddle a lot.

Cal decided he needed to shave. It had been several months since he had last and while his facial hair did grow slowly it was getting a little long for his taste. 

He wished he remembered his old razor back on Bracca. It hadn’t been anything special it was a simple straight razor made of durasteel and wood. Still Prauf had given it to him for his sixteenth birthday. The gift had caused cal to break into tears at his friends generosity. Scrappers barely made enough money to feed themselves. Much less buy gifts. Yet Prauf has gotten him that razor. It was probably being used by whoever took his old place. The thought did make him slightly sad. He hoped whoever had it now was treating it well. 

He applied the shaving cream to his face and carefully began to shave. He started with the grain of his hair in order to get it closer to his face for his final pass. He took extra care on the underside of his chin where he could easily cut his throat. That door was always the most annoying. He could never seem to get rid of the stubble there monster how many different directions he tried. As he was running the blade against the grain in order to remove the final small hairs Merrin entered the fresher. 

“What are you doing?” He stopped slightly surprised she had never heard of this.

“I’m shaving. It’s to remove my facial hair.” She nodded slowly as if understanding.

“Dathomirian’s do not grow hair on their body, And only the females grow hair on their heads.” He hadn’t known that. Though it did explain why Merrin’s face was so smooth. She slowly stepped closer to cal as he shaved. She leaned closer and kissed his cheek. He cut himself as she did and he winced as blood began to fill the cut. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that.” He smiled gently at her.”

“Don’t worry it’s not a big deal.” She made a disgusted face and wiped her lips.

“That cream tastes like soap.” Her face was slightly screwed up. He laughed at her and laughed back he grabbed a small cloth and began to hold it to his face to stop the bleeding. 

All of the sudden his life felt so normal. Here he was in the bathroom nursing a cut while his girlfriend tried to remove the taste of shaving cream from her tongue. He hoped they had more moments like this. These were his favorites.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up the hairless Dathomirian thing but I feel like it makes sense. Also the shaving scene was pretty much something I slipped in there since I shaved last night. I figured Cal would have to eventually


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another filler chapter we’ll be getting to some plot soon I promise but I couldn’t put them through anything rough so soon.

He was finally well enough to get outside again. As long as he didn’t do anything to extreme the wound should stay closed. So of course the first thing he decided to do was to go help the Wookiees. Merrin of course decided she wasn’t going to leave his side for as long as he was out there. 

He found that his lightsaber combat had diminished slightly after being hurt. It wasn’t really noticeable but he could feel it and if he looked hard the saber slash marks looked slightly sloppy. Thankfully they had only encountered sporadic wildlife. Merrin stood close to him during every fight. 

He appreciated her support. He was tiring much more quickly than he normally would. Merrin waited patiently as he sat down his head hanging and breathing hard. She sat gently down next to him and grabbed his hand. He squeezed and she squeezed back. 

“Would you like to stop here for a bit.” He thought before shaking his head.

“No we aren’t far. I think it would be better to continue on to the camp.” She nodded beside him. “Although I think I need to stay here a bit longer.” She chuckled and set her head on his shoulder. 

“How does your chest feel?” Her fingers reaching under his poncho and rested on the vest. He felt his heart flutter at her touch.

“A bit sore but other than that. It’s good.” Her other hand joined the first and he felt the beat of his heart deepen and speed up. Her smiling face looked up at him. 

Her fingers wrapped around the edge of his vest and she pulled gently, bringing his upper body forward and against her own. Her body was soft against his own. Their lips met and a pleasant wave flowed through his body. They broke for air their foreheads resting against each other. Merrin placed short passionate kisses against his mouth and around his lips. 

“Well what have we here, you two lovebirds need some privacy?” They broke apart at the voice. Cal felt his whole body flush and saw Siv standing to their side hands on his hips legs apart. 

“I-I- Uh.” Siv laughed at Cals attempts to speak. He felt that his skin must now be the same complexion as his hair.

“Relax,” he drew out the A in the word “You two are simply adorable, but maybe if you’re gonna do that you should wait till you’re back on the mantis where you aren’t gonna be taken by surprise. Because a deaf and blind Gundark could have heard me coming.” He turned and began walking back from where Cal assumes he came throwing over his shoulder to follow him. Merrin grabbed his hand. He was still breathing hard but for a different reason all together. It didn’t take them long to reach the camp. 

There they found Zara barking orders raising tents and setting up facilities. For such a small woman she truly could put authority into her words. She stopped as she saw them. Quickly running over and giving Cal and Merrin a quick hug.

“It’s good to have you back in action.” He smiled at her.

“It’s good to be back who do I need to talk to?” She pointed over to a tent larger than most others.

“Mari and Choyyssyk are over in there they can brief you two about the current situation.” They crossed the camp to the command tent and found Mari and Choyyssyk inside. They were pointing at a map. Small pins covered it in different locations. Choyyssyk looked up and growled a soft sound. Mari now looked at them.

“Ah Cal, Merrin you’re back.” She had a strange look on her face.

“So where do you need us?” The two resistance leaders made eye contact and then looked back at he and Merrin.

“Actually we have reports that they know you’re here and that it may kick off another full scale invasion. I think you four need to leave as soon as possible.” Cal felt his heart sink. It had all been for nothing. All of this time he spent trying to help them and they were now kicking him off-world. He ducked his head.

“We understand, thank you Mari.” Merrin’s voice was calm and collected, not at all how Cal felt. She placed her hand on his arm and they left the tent. Merrin places her hand inside Cals own. She squeezed gently and pulled him back towards Siv and Zara. They spoke to the other Two Jedi and they all agreed it would be best to get off planet immediately. 

The hike seemed shorter the second time around. Perhaps it was Siv’s jokes clearly trying to keep spirits up after the disheartening situation. Or maybe it was just the comfort of being surrounded by great friends. 

When they returned to the mantis they spent a short time explaining the situation to Cere and Greez. They said they knew a place. They were tight lipped and Cal knew they wouldn’t talk about it. 

‘Oh well’ Cal thought if they weren’t gonna talk about it he would just get some sleep while they were in hyperspace. He stood behind Merrin as she was making something to eat. He wrapped his arms around her neck and set his head against shoulder. She turned her head towards his and placed a kiss against his temple 

“Would you like some?” His eyes were closed and he hummed in thought.

“What is it?” He knew she was smiling.

“Open your mouth.” He followed her command and she pushed something against his lips. He bit down and his teeth met toast and a sort of jam. She took it back and he heard her take a bite. He could feel the slight movement of her muscles as she swallowed.

“I’m going to get some sleep. Would you like to join me?” She turned around and kissed him on the cheek.

“I’d love to.” They walked towards the back of the ship hand in hand before laying on the bed cuddling close and falling asleep.

He woke up and noticed they were out of hyperspace Merrin was still cuddled close against him, her face was tucked under his chin and her lips were lightly brushing against his throat. 

He gently woke her and kissed the tip of her nose. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him.

“I think we’re here.” They stood and straightened themselves out before entering the galley.

Siv and Zara stood there laughing. Siv was shirtless and Zara wore tight fitting clothing. 

“What’s going on?” The both turned towards them.

“We’re on Ithor, Cere said there’s a really nice waterfall close by and we’re gonna go check it out you should join us.”

They all walked the short distance through the gorgeous terrain. Just as Cere said they didn’t have to travel far before they reached the waterfall. They heard the roar first. Before breaking through into a small clearing.

A small cliff deposited a waterfall into a turquoise pool. It radiated cool and serenity. A light mist of morning fog hung in the air and around the water 

Siv and Zara both jumped into the water and began to swim. Cal and Merrin looked at each other shyly. Cal pulled his vest over his head before removing his shirt. He looked over at Merrin just as she removed his shirt. His breath caught in his throat as the shirt slid over her body. The smooth skin of her stomach was tattooed just as her face and hands. She removed her shirt and Cal blushed slightly. She wore only a single layer of underclothes. She shimmied out of her pants, exposing The smooth skin of her thighs and calves. She stepped out of her pants and walked towards the waters edge. 

Cal didn’t move for a second watching her almost in a daze. She turned around and beckoned him with a finger. He quickly moved forward coming to stand next to her. The bank had a small drop off that would force them to jump into the water.

“Are you ready?” Merrin held out her hand to Cal, he took it and the jumped from the bank into the water. It was just right not cold but not too warm. The two swam further into the pool away from the edge. 

Merrin surfaced just before Cal did. She pushed her hair out of her face and smiled at Cal. Her smile distracted Cal from the splash that hit him. He spluttered as the water hit him in the face. He heard Merrin’s laugh and realized he didn’t mind so much. Still he didn’t want her to realize how much her laugh affected him so he grabbed her around the waist and lifted her clean out of the water. She shrieked as he dropped her back into it with a great splash. 

She re-emerged from the water with her hands up.

“Truce?” She offered gracefully. He pretended to consider he offer before nodding. 

“Sure.” She smiled and swam into his body her arms locking around his neck and drawing her self into his lap. Her bare legs were around his hips and she was essentially sitting in his lap. He kept them afloat using his arms as balance. Her warm body was complemented by the slightly cool water around and between them. Her face was very close to his. He could feel her breath against his face. She still had a glow around her from laughing. Her lips slightly parted. He leaned in when suddenly a shout ripped through the air. 

A massive splash followed and drenched the two of them. Siv rose to the surface a moment later whooping and cheering. Cal and Merrin laughed and their eyes connected. He stared deeply into her eyes. The deep rich brown held layer upon layer inside of them. They caught the sun and practically flowed with beauty. The eyes were the window to the soul he had heard that somewhere, he looked into Merrin’s soul, he found love. Their bodies were so close he could feel her heartbeat. It was deep and powerful. Beating slightly harder and faster than it normally would. It matched his own. 

He heard Zara jump into the water with a scream. Neither moved, still looking into each other’s eyes. He smiled before he spoke.

“I love you Merrin.” She smiled back and it sent flutters through Cal’s body.

“I love you too Cal.” They kissed and despite the jeers and catcalling of the other two swimmers. Cal could feel the love and passion between them. In that moment he knew that all these years the Jedi council had been wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The waterfall scene was inspired by Van Morrison’s Brown Eyed Girl. Great song would recommend it especially during this scene. And yes Merrin does have brown eyes.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it’s been a while since I’ve posted a chapter. Sorry about that

They spent several quiet days on Ithor swimming and relaxing. It was night due to such low artificial light and pollution on the planet it was one of the best star gazing planets in the galaxy. He and Merrin laid side by side wrapped in a blanket as the air around them cooled. The sky above was filled with bright stars and nebulas. The six moons of the planet were bright and shining. They provided enough light so that could see each other. They identified the different constellations they knew. Eventually though Merrin fell quiet. He didn’t realize at first and continued talking about how on Bracca he couldn’t see the stars and had almost forgotten about them. He finally stopped and looked over at the girl next to him.

“What’s wrong?” A soft sigh escaped her lips.

“I just wish we could stay here forever. It is so wonderful, we could grow old surrounded by the beauty and simplicity of this planet.” She smiled sadly at the image. He grabbed her hand.

“Merrin one day we’ll stop running, I promise, I just don’t know when that day will be. But when it comes we’ll find a nice planet to live, and we’ll start something amazing. She smiled at him and laid her head on his shoulder. They stayed like that until Merrin began nodding off. Cal picked her up and carried her back to the ship. She mumbled gently in her sleep her hands gripped his vest. He brought her to their room and set her down on his bed before joining her.

Their stay at Ithor had finally come to a halt. They were getting a distress signal from a ship lost in space. It wasn’t far maybe only a few parsecs and they figured they needed help.

They made the small jump and fear coursed through Cal as the massive bulk of an imperial Class Star Destroyer filled the window of the cockpit.

“They used a fake distress signal to lure us here. Greez can we make a jump?” The Latero shook his head at the question.

“They’ve already caught us in a tractor beam.” The Mantis was slowly drawn towards the massive cruiser. Cal felt a cold chill run down his spine. 

The Mantis was slowly inching into the docking bay. Every second Cal thought his heart would suddenly seize and stop. He had no idea what was in store for them, but one thing was for certain, it wasn’t good. Cere quickly took their lightsabers and hid them inside the ship.

The ship lurched to a stop as it docked. The Mantis felt small in the hulking mass of the star destroyer. A voiced crackled over the comms.

“This is the Imperial Star Destroyer Decimator. Prepare to receive the docking party. Any resistance will be met with force.” The voice was stiff and held the rigid tone of Imperial protocol The crew all looked at each other.

“I don’t think there’s any way out of this.” The others nodded. Door opened and a team of imperial stormtroopers boarded, their blasters held low against their hips. A commander stepped forward with several pairs of binders. Cal could feel the man’s nervousness, but when he spoke it sounded calm and authoritative.

“You are under arrest for treason against the empire. Do not attempt to resist or you will be executed.” Cal looked at his friends before putting his hands out for the commander to bind him. The others followed suit. They took their lightsabers and weapons from them before slapping the binders on their wrists.

They were marched off the ship through the drab corridors of the Star Destroyer before being transported up lifts 3 at a time. The first group was Cal Merrin and Zara. Merrin was calm and expectant. But Zara was panicked her breath was slightly ragged and her heart was racing. He tried to reach out with the force to comfort her but he didn’t have much effect. 

The were brought into an office, a man sat at the desk shuffling through different folders. He was clearly an imperial navy officer. Cal didn’t know the rank. He looked up as the Captives entered the room, The stormtroopers escorting then Came to attention and the Commander reported to the man all had gone according to plan. 

“Very good Commander. Please leave us.” The trooper hesitated before saluting him and turning his men following him. The officer stood and walked towards the line of captives 

“Welcome aboard my ship. It truly is a pleasure to meet you.” The man spoke clearly and calmly. His voice had a rather soothing cadence and tone. Cal noticed the man was strikingly handsome with a very sharp jawline. Almost as if carves from stone. “I am Admiral Karish and you, must be Cal Kestis.” He had stopped at the beginning of the line and looked at Cal.

“I have been studying your abilities since you escaped Bracca, and may I say I think you have improved exponentially. Truly quite impressive.” Cal was at a loss for words completely taken surprise by Karish’s compliments. He moved along reaching Merrin. 

“Ah Nightsister Merrin. You are far more beautiful than I had expected, and of course my condolences for your people.” He continued on before Cal had processed his words. 

“Siv Tariq. You are a very interesting Jedi. You no longer follow any sort of Jedi code. It is clear you use emotion to your advantage In battle. I look forward to learning more about you.” He sighed sadly as he approached Zara.

“I do not agree with the torture practiced at the Fortress Inquisitorius. If I were given the option I would abolish it. You have my deepest compassions.” Karish said nothing to Cere and Greez. Rather he turned his back on all of them before speaking. 

“The inquisitors are one of many groups dedicated to tracking you. You have after all, caused many waves in imperial space.” Cal fidgeted in his binders checking for any weak points. “I will be delivering you to the Emperor but first I would like to learn more about your group. You do interest me so.” Something about this man felt off. The emotions he expressed were forced, unnatural. His whole demeanor was artificial. But why?

He returned to his desk and pressed a button. Stormtroopers reentered the room and grabbed hold of them. 

“I will question you individually in the next few hours. Please cooperation is highly valued.” He made a signal to the troopers and they were taken out of the office and brought through many hallways before reaching the prison block. The doors opened and they were shoved into the rectangular cell. The door slid shut and Cal quickly kneeled next to Merrin. 

“Are you alright?” She nodded and he helped her to her feet. 

“Yes I am fine.” Siv called him and he met the taller Jedi at the door. There he explained they would probably override the door with the force and get back to the ship before anyone noticed. Cal nodded and they both reached out with the force.

There was a pressure and then a splintering crack and the door opened before them. The dark coloring of the imperial cell block met them on the other side.they slowly filed out of the cramped cell chewing both sides of the hallway. 

They passed a machine and Cal stopped calling the others back. He placed his hand into them and the binders fell off. He rubbed the red marks on his wrists that were left behind as the others removed their own. 

After the brief pause they continued down the corridor. A shout came from a open room at the end with several consoles. Cal quickly used the force to send the stormtroopers there flying. On hit the ground and was knocked unconscious. The other hit the top of the blast door frame and was eerily still. They continued on. 

They were unsure of where to go the ship was way too big to wander and hope for the best. Suddenly a lone Tie Fighter pilot exited the lift in front of them. He made surprised sound and drew a blaster.

Siv grabbed the barrels and hit the trooper in the helmet with his own gun. He dropped to his knees dazed by the blow. Siv grabbed him by the flight suit and dragged him to his feet. Zara stepped forward and waved her hand in front of his face.

“You will take us to the hangar.” The pilot cocked his head in confusion.

“What? Why would I do that?” Zara curse muttering about him not being weak minded. Siv raised his fist to knock out the pilot when he raised his hands and spoke.

“Hold on, hold on! I’ll help you. I can’t stay here any more. I’ve been forced to do terrible things. I need to get out of here.” They thought briefly about it and realized they had no other choice. Cal nodded to the pilot and gestured for him to lead. He started off down the hallway with the others following. Cal felt uneasy inside the Star Destroyer. Running down the uniform spotless hallways reminded him too much of that day many years ago. The day that changed his life. Though this tim he wasn’t running alone. He had his family with him.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a snow day so I was able to write this. Hooray

The pilot introduced himself as Oran, Oran Fel. He had been a fighter pilot for 7 years now. He was a pilot for the republic before the empire took over He said it had been good at first he had lived a good life but after a while it became dark. The missions got more questionable. Then the targets became political dissonance and finally civilians. 

He said he could make a distraction while they got into their ship and got off. He said they could send him their hyperspace calculations and he could make the jump once they did. 

He gestured for them to stand behind him. He opened a blast door and peeked around the corner then waved them forward. 

“They don’t have a guard on your ship they must be inspecting it.” He strolled up the ramp.

“Vessel! A-Tench-Hut” cal heard the boots clacking and armor clanking as they stood at attention. “What are your operating codes.” The trooper began to rattle off a set of numbers. Then there was a scuffling sound and two troopers were dragged out of the Mantis by Oran.

“Alright you guys get the ship ready to go and I’m gonna prime a TIE.” He ran over to a docked ship and climbed in it started up. The ship began to rise slowly in the air as the ramp closed on the Mantis. They lifted up and followed Oran out of the hanger a stick up imperial officer began rattling off protocols and citations. 

Cal pressed a button cutting the comms. They began calculating the jump when they heard the scream of TIE fighters behind them and a dogfight took place between Oran and several other pilots. 

“Hang tight well help you out.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m one of the best damn pilots in the empire.” Cal heard a smug undertone in his voice.

Cal caught a glimpse of the fight. The fighter that Oran was most likely piloting was rolling and looping. He saw the TIE was being followed by three other fighters at this point. He then cut his engines and rolled backwards and activating his turret. His blasters tore through the unshielded cockpit of the fighters. That was three less tie fighters for the Empire. 

Cal could see nearly 20 other TIE fighters. He felt his stomach drop. There was no way that Oran could survive all of them. 

“Ready!” Cal heard the scream of Oran telling them to jump. They followed his order and made the jump to the closest planet. Somewhere called Er’Kit they jumped right into atmosphere and slowly set themselves down. They waited there for several seconds. 

A bright streak ripped into the planet. It hurtled towards the ground before finally pulling up from its plummet at the last second before crashing into the ground with a muffled thud and sinking down slightly in the loose sand. Cal threw himself out of the ship and ran for the now broken down fighter. 

One of the wings had broken off. It sat nearby the crash site. His feet were being dragged down by the sand. Siv reaches the fighter as Cal began to open the hatch. It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the darker cockpit. He could see a dark form crumpled in the seat. 

“Siv I need a hand.” The larger Jedi reaches him and they both grabbed the unconscious pilot before hauling him out of the now burning wreckage. They dropped from the cockpit to the ground and set Oran onto the ground. Cal did a once over of the pilot and his body went cold. 

There was a large piece of jagged durasteel stuck inside of Oran’s torso. It was large and deeply wedged into his body. He was still breathing and cal removed the helmet from his head. His face was pale and bloodstreaked. Blood tinged his lips and teeth. A small smile spread across his face. 

“I was a little slow on the jump and got hit. It caused a piece of the structuring to break loose and I was right in the trajectory.” He coughed and fresh blood stained his face. He saw Merrin running towards them. 

“Merrin Hurry!” Oran laughed and grabbed Cal’s hand. The pilots body was shaking.

“Thank you Cal, you freed me from a monster I wasn’t strong enough to fight on my own.” He then smiled and looked at the sky. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful.” Cal looked at the sky. It was filled with streaks of bright orange and red. He told Oran to hold on and that help was almost here. Merrin dropped to her knees and accessed her magick. Then suddenly as soon as the green light washed over them it faded. Cal looked at Merrin. Her eyes filled with tears and she dropped her head. 

Cal turned back to Oran and saw that his eyes were open and his body was still. Merrin grabbed his hand. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything he was already gone.” She choked out the apology as the tears began to fall. He wrapped his arms around her. He barely knew the hound pilot but still his heart ached with pain and sorrow. So many had died.

They Buried Oran in the soft sand before piling nearby rocks onto the grave. Cal had kept the removed pilots helmet and now set it down on the very top of the stack. He then placed down a special rock bearing a small inscription on the rock courtesy of Merrin. 

‘The best damn pilot in the Galaxy.’ Cal thought it was fitting. The crew of the Mantis stood around the grave mourning the loss of their short lived ally. Cal wasn’t sure how much more death he could handle. Each new one tore his heart apart and reopened the old wounds of past loss.

Eventually he stood with only Merrin at his side as he looked at the now forever empty helmet on the grave. He felt her hand snake into his own. A gentle pull towards the mantis got his feet moving. He followed her all the way back to the Mantis. He didn’t realize he was in his room until Merrin gently pushed him onto the bed. He took a deep breath in and then it got caught in his throat and the tears began to pour down his face. Merrin held him close and whispered words of love and comfort to him. It wasn’t long until his tears no longer flowed and his eyes began to droop. His eyes closed. 

He stood in a Imperial Ship he saw a single figure standing in front of him. He slowly turned and Cal saw a jagged piece of shrapnel sticking out of the flight suit of the pilot in front of him. Cal wanted to wake up. He couldn’t bear this, not again. 

“This was your fault Cal.” He screamed out and tears once again flowed down his face. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry guys. And no Oran wasn’t as good of a pilot as Anakin/Vader but he also want force sensitive so it was pretty close 
> 
> Also can we talk about the case of survivors guilt that Cal has
> 
> EDIT: Jan 28th Guys I feel like a fool! TIE fighters don’t even have a hyperdrive. I knew this before I wrote the chapter and just completely forgot. Call y’all forgive me?


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy guys. Sorry for making you wait so long. I spent time what could have been this chapter on a different story. (About a certain Tie fighter pilot that I loved) so sorry about that

Cal was having too many nightmares. They were worse then the ones he had after he got shot. More vivid. More painful. He was back again wandering through the halls of a massive ship. He knew it wouldn’t be long until he ran into the memory of Oran. 

There just ahead. He tried to turn back only to find a smooth wall from where he came. His throat was dry and his heart started to pound mire heavily against his ribs. 

“You can’t run forever Cal.” The voice was soft gentle almost as if speaking to a young child. Cal squeezed his eyes shut tightly. His hand on the cold metal the knot connection he now has to this hellscape. 

“Pathetic.” It was a different voice this time. Smoother higher in pitch. Crueler. He opened his eyes, he was on the Mantis. He turned and looked into a pair of hard brown eyes. 

“You are weak Cal Kestis. You carry death and pain with every step. You run from your destiny like a coward. Merrin’s voice cut him like a whip, her face was pulled into an ugly sneer. He backed away from her and bumped into the wall behind him. She took a step closer crowding him. 

“You are the cause of so much suffering.” Her voice was full of hate and anger. 

“M-Merrin why are you saying this.” It was hard to swallow and his heart hurt. She threw her head back and laughed. But it was cruel and not at all like the laugh that made his knees feel weak and caused his heart to flutter.

“I speak only the truth, but it seems your tiny mind can not understand.” 

“You don’t mean that.” He didn’t know if that was true. She seemed to enjoy the pain her words caused him. Suddenly she lifted her arm and slapped him across the face. Hard. His head was whipped to the side and his ears rang slightly from the pain. He opened his mouth to speak when he felt another slap from the other side. His face hurt and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. 

“Your kind caused the death of my people. You Jedi ruined everything I hold dear.” The conviction in her voice ripped a hole in his chest.   
She raised her hand again to hit him and he closed his eyes before the impact. But it never came. He slowly opened his eyes finding himself laying in bed. He threw himself out of bed hitting the ground with a loud thump. 

The door slid open and Cal scuttled backwards as Merrin entered the room. There was worry written on her face but Cal didn’t know if she was even real. 

“Cal what’s wrong?” He didn’t answer and she called his name again a note o fear in her voice. She raised a hand to touch his face and he flinched away from her. She slowly lowered her hand. Her face held a hurt expression and Cal slightly lowered his guard. 

“Cal. What’s Wrong?” Her voice was soft and gentle. She sat in her haunches in front of Cal she had her hands gently clasped in her lap. She was wringing her hands. 

“Are you real?” His voice was weak and shaky. 

She slowly raised her hand, cal watched it as it slowly reached across the space towards him. He felt her fingers gently brush away a tear he hadn’t realized was falling. 

“Of course I’m real Cal.” Her voice was still soft and gentle. He looked into her eyes. The differing layers and depths of the soft brown. This was the final price of evidence Cal needed. He reached out and pulled her forward to him. She fell not expecting the sudden pull. He wrapped his arms around her and she held him. 

“What happened.” Her voice was almost a whisper but her mouth was right next to his ear. She gently ran her fingers through his hair. A sense of relaxation soothed his body. 

“I saw Oran. And he told me it was my fault. Then you. You. You said such horrible things. And the worse part is that it was true.” He was finding it harder to talk as he remembered the things she had said. He felt her kiss the top of his head. 

“It was not real. I would never try to hurt you Cal.” He nodded against her chest. He focused on controlling his breathing as he stored his hair. Her heart beating In his ear. He felt his body begin to relax. The tense muscles in his shoulders unknotting and uncoiling. His breathing and hear rate slowed. After several minutes of silence he Leaned back and rose to his feet, he held out his hand for Merrin. She took it and he helped her stand. 

“Thank you Merrin. I. I’ve been in a dark place recently. And you always seem to be able to bring me back to the light.” He set a hand on her waist and pulled her against him.

Their lips met and cal felt his his heart surge and his stomach did somersaults. She sighed in contentment against his mouth and her arms wrapped around his neck. He set his other hand on her lower back. Her body pressed against his and he stepped back not expecting the sudden pressure against him. They laughed and then their mouths reconnected. Suddenly the ship lurched and they both hit the ground. Merrin was now laying on top of him. She took advantage of the new position and crawled onto his lap. He legs on either side of his hips. She grabbed both of his hands and pinned them above his head. He smiled against her lips. He didn’t fight her even though they both knew she couldn’t hold him there for long. Suddenly the door opened and Cal heard someone whistle. 

“I would say get a room but you kind of already have.” Siv’s voice caused the two to break apart red in the face and breathing heavily. “Do you guys make out all the time or am I just really unlucky?” Cal glared at Siv. He just laughed.

“We’re leaving the Planet it’s time to move on before the empire catches on.” Cal nodded almost to himself. Siv began to talk again and cal almost missed what he said. 

“Cal were going to Bracca.” He felt a cold chill run down his body. It felt like a Stone was lodged deep in his stomach. He swallowed and found his throat to be dry and slightly scratchy. 

“Okay. Thank you for the warning.” The ship jumped into hyperspace and Cal stood pushing past both Siv and Merrin on his way to the refresher. There he fell to his knees in front of the toilet. He felt his stomach lurch then threw up into the bowl he repeated this process several times. His heart pounded in his head. He heard Merrin step into the refresher and lowered herself next to Cal. She ran a hand soothingly across his back as he purged the contents of his stomach. 

There was a sheen of sweat building up across his forehead. He felt feverish he turned to Merrin her face showing sympathy. 

“I don’t know if I’m strong enough to go back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you guys want a more in depth Oran backstory


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Once again no action but I promise it’ll be coming soon.

Cal took some time to compose himself before asking Merrin to leave and turning on the shower. He took his culottes off and climbed into the steaming water. He cleaned himself and started washing his hair. He closed his eyes halfway through, leaning against the wall. The water flowed down his head and soothed his body. Suddenly the water became cold, the pressure dropped suddenly at the same time. Cal opened his eyes. 

He was covered in grime and grease. He was standing in a very familiar shower. He felt a shiver run through him from both a combination of the now cold water and bad memories. He stepped out of his shower and wandered around his old home. He ran his hands over his old belongings. There wasn’t much. Just a few unique parts that were worthless to the Empire, but that Cal has found interesting. His old home was dark and rather cramped. Still he had spent years here and he sometimes missed it. 

“You miss it don’t you?” Cal spun around to come face to face with a young man. His hair was red and he wore scrapper gear. It was him. Albeit much younger. Maybe fourteen or fifteen. He frowned as he looked over his younger self.

“Yes, I do.” Young Cal nodded at his words, then he strode to the bed. He took off his boots before laying down and closing his eyes. 

“You can do this. You’re much stronger than even you know.” Cal opened his mouth but found no words. He blinked and suddenly water rushed into his open mouth. Back in the shower on the mantis. The water was still hot. He shut it off and stepped out, drying himself off and dressing. He looked at the scars that covered his body. Several from Bracca. The lightsaber burn from his encounter with Vader, and finally the blaster scar from Kashyyyk. He shivered at the thought of that day. How close he had come to dying. He quickly finished dressing and left the refresher. He found Merrin in his room. She stood as he entered. 

“Are you feeling better?” He nodded and she stepped closer to him. Her head slightly cocked as she studied him. He raised an eyebrow as a small smile came over her face. 

“What?” She sighed and reached a hand into his hair. 

“Your hair is turning gray. Is that normal for humans your age?” He shook his head.

“Not for another 15 standard years. Although I have been pretty stressed lately.” she smiled softly at him.

“Yes you are under very difficult circumstances. Ones that would break many others. You are very durable Cal.”He said nothing to that. He didn’t feel very durable. In fact he felt positively brittle. 

“I am going to take a nap. Will you join me?” He shook his head and muttered something about talking to Siv. She nodded and laid down in his bed. He watched her fall asleep. Then he watched her for a while longer. He didn’t actually need to talk to Siv. But he knew if he tried to sleep he’d have nightmares. There was no way he could face that again. Not so soon. He knew it would be a long way to Bracca. But he pledged to stay awake.

He spent the time talking to Cere. She seemed to think Bracca would be a good place to get some new gear for the ship quietly. Cal had to agree with her there. They would have no shortage of republic era tech on the scrap planet. 

They specifically wanted better shielding and long range scanners. That way they could better avoid imperial ships. He meditates briefly. Trying to center himself before arriving on the planet. Still he felt shaky and nervous the closer they got to the watery hell hole. 

He knew from years of scraping exactly where and how to get the parts. The tricky bit would be getting past the other scrappers and Imperials. Well actually the tricky bit would be getting off of the Mantis. If he could do that everything else would be a walk in the park. He had faced worse. Much worse. Of course everything else he had been up against wasn’t the location of five years of pain and suffering. No, that made Bracca unique. He was going to need Merrin in the next few days. Badly.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a long time so it’s a long chapter with action, feels, and an age old saying

Cal stared out across the planet. He had both feet on the ramp. He had been standing like this for several minutes. The rain was soaking into his clothing as he fought to move forward. A hand snaked into his own and gave it a squeeze. Merrin smiled at him and he finally found the strength to step forward. His foot splashed in the soggy mud of the planet. 

The planet was surprisingly cold, it must have been winter, he thought as he splashed through difficult terrain. They were in a sort of gulley hidden from view. It wasn’t far at all to the nearest scrap piles. Merrin, Siv, and Zara followed him through the snaking passageways of rock. Finally they broke through onto a cleared rocky outcrop. They stood nearby to a nearly intact Venator. Cal signaled to the others to follow him. He climbed the hull of the ship. The large hand holds made it rather easy to scale the massive structure. He slipped inside of a opening in the playing. He helped the others in and then led the way towards the hangar. That’s where he felt confident he could find some shield generators and scanners. This ship was in such good shape he bet the hangar was near full.

The hallways were dirty but intact. It looked like some animals had managed to get into the ship. Siv took out his lightsaber and it lit it illuminating the hallway in the bright purple light. It seemed the blast doors had been disabled so they were able to make good progress through the ship. They arrived in the hangar and Cal remembered the first time he had seen the hanger on the Albedo Brave. He remembered being afraid of the clones as it was his first time seeing them. Their helmets had freaked him out. He remembered the massive ships inside the seemingly endless space.

He stopped and stood still. Closing his eyes and taking in the ambiance. 

“It’s almost like during the wars huh?” Zara’s voice startled him. Her voice was very quiet, apparently so were her footsteps. He smiled at her over his shoulder.

“Yeah. So little has changed from when this ship was brought here. Kinda freaky.”  
She nodded coming to stand next to him. He had almost forgot how short she was. But now with them so close he realized she only came up to his mid chest. She turned to him. Her eyes were wet with tears. 

“Do you trust me?” He set a hand on her shoulder. 

“Of course I do Zara. You’ve shown me that you’re a kid person, what they made you do isn’t who you are.” She nodded, vigorously dashing the tears away from her eyes and cheeks. 

“Cal!” He looked at Zara and she nodded at him to go check it out. He followed the sound of Merrin’s voice to a LAAT. The doors were open and there were blankets and belongings. He joined her side and she looked at him expectantly.

“What do you think?” He thought and examines the hideout. Small knick-knacks and toys were littered around the gunships cabin. 

“It seems like someone’s been living here... Someone young.” She nodded in agreement and tugged on her poncho. “We should be careful not to scare them. They may be nervous about us being here.” They left stepped off the gunship onto the hangar floor. Cal warned the other two Jedi about the potential inhabitant before telling them about where to find the technology they needed. He and Merrin decided they should search the ship for whoever was living here. 

They didn’t really have a plan so they just started walking around the cruiser. Cal decided to follow his instincts for some reason he felt they should start at the DFAC. It didn’t take long to get there. Cal felt like there was something off but couldn’t place it yet. He strode through the tables and looked into the kitchen. It was as he entered the kitchen he realized what it was. The air in the rest of the ship was still and slightly stale. But in here there was a scent. Food someone had prepared food in here recently. There in the storage shelf of a table was a ration pack. He touched the outside of the bag, still warm. He called to Merrin. She didn’t respond and he didn’t hear her move. He stood up and called again. He left the kitchen and found her gone from the kitchen. He left the DFAC and started moving through the halls. He slid to a stop, she was standing with her back to him in the hallway. 

“Merrin?” She looked over her shoulder and Cal slowly walked forward, she was clearly worried. As he walked closer he saw the cause for her anxiety. A Tholothian child was standing at the end of the corridor holding a blaster, her face was streaked with dirt and her clothes were filthy her hands were shaking slightly as she pointed it at them. 

“Stay back!” Her voice was shaking more than her hands, when she spoke Cal realized that she was very young. Around eight or nine years old. Cal held up his hands. 

“I’m sorry that we scared you, we were just trying to figure out who you were. I’m Cal this is Merrin, who are you?” She hesitated as if unsure to trust them. He smiled at her encouragingly. 

“Laymiri.” He smiled even more and took a step closer. 

“That’s a pretty name.” She lowered her blaster and Cal moved closer “What are you doing on this ship?” Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears. 

“They died.” She started to cry and Cal froze. Unsure what to do, Merrin however immediately pushed past him and comforted the little girl. She grabbed the blaster first and set it to the side. 

“I’m sorry about your parents Laymiri.” My family died too, and it hurt a lot. But now I have Cal and our other friends.” The girl threw herself against Merrin. Merrin held her close as she sobbed into the older girls shoulder. Merrin stroked Laymiri’s back to try and soothe her. Cal stepped forward and wrapped his arms around them both. It took a while for the Tholothian girl to calm down. Eventually though her sobs turned to gasping cries and then eventually hiccups and shuddering breaths. 

“You must be lonely here Laymiri.” Merrin’s voice was soft and quiet. The girl nodded to Merrin’s statement. “Would you like to come with us?” The girl stepped away and looked at Merrin’s face clearly shocked and maybe disbelieving her words. 

“Yes. I hate it here. I want to be with you.” Merrin stroked the girl’s head tails. 

“Do you want to meet our other friends?” The girl nodded again. Merrin stood and began to lead the way back towards the hangar. Cal noticed the little girl swaying as she walked. She must have been worn out from her outburst. So before she could fall Cal gently scooper her up and carried her the rest of the way to the hangar. He felt her arms circle around his neck and she relaxed against Cal.

It wasn’t a long trip to the hangar and when they arrived they heard a triumphant shout from an ARC-170 with a decal of a female Pantoran. he found Zara tearing a scanner out of the ship. She stopped when she noticed Cal and Merrin and then cocked her head at the child in Cal’s arms.

“Who’s this.” Siv called as he walked around the other side of the fighter Merrin told them the story as the came to meet in the hanger. The two other Jedi introduced themselves to the girl and she muttered a hello clearly not comfortable with these new people yet. 

Merrin asked if there was anything Laymiri needed from her house. She nodded asking for a specific blanket. Meeting returned and placed the blanket over Cals shoulders on top do the child. It wasn’t long before Cal felt Laymiri being to nod off and then fall asleep. 

They gathered the equipment for the mantis and set out to return to the landing zone. It turned out there was an easy way in and out. A small rope was hanging from a hole in the ship all the way to the ground. It took some finagling for Cal to go down one handed but it wasn’t as difficult as he had first anticipated. Though when his feet touched the ground he felt that something was wrong. As the others joined him on the surface he mentioned his unease. To his surprise Siv nodded in agreement.

“I agree somethings not right here, I have a bad feeling about this.” No sooner had he said that when a imperial drop ship hovered about fifty feet away and let off a squad of storm troopers. Two more followed it but the last gunship landed rather than hovering several feet off the ground. 

Two people stepped off this last gunship. One was an Imperial officer, the other was an Inquisitor. Her stature confirmed her identity as the seventh sister. This was further evidence when she spoke. Her voice echoing and taunting. 

“You thought you could return here Cal and not face any consequences?” She opened her helmet and smiled at him. 

“I figured you would be too busy licking your wounds to try and fight me again.” 

“Well I decided with the help of Karish I wouldn’t have too much difficulty with a rematch. Besides I just couldn’t keep myself away.” He voice had taken on a seductive flirtatious edge. Cal felt Merrin stiffen behind him. Suddenly The Seventh Sister noticed the child in his arms. 

“Oh who have we here, have you adopted a child Cal, how sweet. Unfortunately she’s in the way. I’ll likely have to kill her.” 

Cal bristled at her callousness. He passed Laymiri to Merrin and pulled out his lightsaber.

“I won’t let you touch her.” The stormtroopers raised their blasters. Thankfully cal was between the troopers and the mantis. He could hold them off while the others got away. Dog stepped forward. 

“Siv get out of here I need you to keep them safe.” The tall Jedi shook his head. “No it’s time I’ve made up for my mistakes.”

He nodded and the two Jedi ignited their lightsabers Siv with his single blade and Cals double sided one. Zara stepped back and grabbed Merrin’s arm leading her away. The troopers opened fire on the two Jedi. Cal blocked them, reflecting them when he got the chance. He saw the Seventh Sister push forward her lightsaber in hand. Cal summoned the force to to push back the troopers shooting at him. He met the inquisitors lightsaber as she swung towards him. She bounced off of his saber and swung in the opposite direction. He once again blocked it locking their sabers before kicking her in the knee. She dropped and backed up. She stood once again ready to attack Cal when a. Storm trooper was thrown bodily into her. As she hit the ground three more bodies covered her. The pile didn’t move for several moments leading Cal to believe she had been knocked unconscious. Cal heard a shout of pain. He turned to see Siv fall to his knees holding his stomach. Karish marched over to him blaster still smoking and placed it against Siv’s head. The Jedi cried out from the burning metal against his skull.

“Drop your lightsaber and come to me, or I will create a hole in this mans head.” Karish’s voice was calm almost monotone and held no emotion in it. Cal did as he said even as Siv cried out to him to run. Still cal slowly advanced towards the imperial. He heard blasters whining as they pointed towards him. He stepped right up to Karish. Stared him deep in the eye and noticed something he hadn’t during their first meeting. His eyes. They were cold evil. They reminded him of the eyes of the Gorgara. That however had bee a bloodthirsty animal. The man in front of him was a monster. He held his hands up palms toward the officer.

“You know before it wasn’t personal, but now I think I will take much pride in taking your little crew of issues down.” A cold hard edge in his voice sent a chill down Cals spine.

“Maybe but I doubt you’ll be able to see it. Cal activated his climbing claws and swung his hand forward and across the face of the imperial. Blood splattered against Cals hands and face as the man doubled throwing hand to his face and eyes. Cal summoned his and Siv’s lightsaber to them and turned to the remaining troopers.

“KILL THEM!” The voice was wracked with pain but still held so little emotion it disturbed Cal. More drop ships arrived and Cal felt certain this would be it for him and Siv. He took solace in the fact that he would be buying time for Merrin to escape. He hoped she would understand. 

Suddenly just before he became overwhelmed a red lightsaber spun through the air cutting down troopers left and right. With it followed a woman, Cere. 

“Go Cal get to the mantis. Take care of the others. They need you, both of you.” He shook his head.

“I won’t leave you here to die.” She snarled at him.

“It wasn’t a suggestion!” He face and voice softened. “Merrin needs you.” It was those words that caused Cal to move his body. He picked up Siv still holding his stomach and began to run. He pushed himself hard. He ran faster than he ever had. His friend grunting and moaning at every step. He felt rather than heard or saw when Cere was finally overwhelmed. Felt her heart stop beating and her spirit join the cosmic force. He felt a sob rise through his throat. Still he pushed on dragging Siv behind him. He pounded up the ramp of the Mantis shouting at Greez to go. The ship rose into the air and Cal collapsed against the ground. He punched the floor as a scream tore though his throat. He heard Merrin treating Siv. Zara’s voice was frantic and worried. He heard bits and pieces. The blaster skimmed his stomach hitting no vital organs but opening nearly to his intestines. It would be a long recovery but it should be fairly straightforward. He heard Merrin calling his name then finally touching his face. 

“Cere?” He shook his head sadly. She wrapped her arms around her and held him. He felt another set of arms around his stomach. He looked down at Laymiri. Her face sad and empathetic. He touched her head tails drawing comfort from the little girl. 

Cere gave her life so that Cal could protect the others on the ship. He wouldn’t let her down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry Cere but you died for a good cause


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wholesome hours followed by some mild horror. Just what the doctor ordered

Cal was dozing on the bench worn out after the loss of Cere. He knew it wasn’t the way of the Jedi to mourn loss so deeply. Still he wasn’t exactly an ideal Jedi even by liberal standards. Merrin was currently bathing Laymiri, Zara offered to clean her clothes while she bathed and Siv was currently completely out of it in his cabin. The wound covered so much area after the adrenaline wore off he was in agony. So they pumped him full of painkillers and remedies by Merrin. Still when he was awake he would be in a lot of pain. Suddenly the fresher door opened to admit the two girls. Merrin’s hair was damp. and her face was flushed from the steam. Still in that moment he was sure she had never been more beautiful. Laymiri was positively sparkling. Gone was the dirt and grime from Bracca. He could even make out the bluish tint around her mouth and eyes previously hidden by dirt. She was slightly paler than he’d realized. She picked up her speed to reach the couch pulling Merrin along behind her.

“Cal look I’m clean!” He laughed at her infectious excitement. 

“I can see that.” He looked at Merrin. She had a pleased smile on her face. 

“Where are we gonna go now?” It was a good question. One Cal really didn’t know the answer to.

“I’m not sure Laymiri.” She looked at her feet and mumbled something. 

“What’s that sweetheart?” Merrin asked sitting down next to cal.

“My mommy used to call me Miri.” Her voice was slightly embarrassed why that was Cal didn’t know.

“Do you want us to call you that?” A shy nod.

“Okay Miri.” Her smile was wide and its childlike qualities made Cal’s heart melt a little bit. 

“Cal, how are you doing?” Merrin’s voice had dropped slightly. He looked into her brown eyes slightly reddened. Clearly Cere’s death has also weighed heavily on her. She tried his best to smile, he was pretty sure it came out as a grimace though.

“I’m in one piece so far, but I think we should probably talk about this another time.” She nodded slowly then leaned forward and kissed him on the edge of the mouth. That earned an ‘eeewwww’ from Miri but Cal only smiled. 

“I’m going to get Miri some food. Then I think it’s best if we all get some sleep.” He nodded in total agreement. Cal leaned back as she rose from the sofa and rummaged Around in the kitchen. He closed his eyes briefly. 

He opened them after what felt like only seconds when a bowl of soup was placed gently in his lap. He raised his eyebrows.

“You need food too my dear Jedi, when was the last time you ate anyways.” He opened his mouth to defend himself before pausing. When had he ate last. He had thought it might have been shortly after Oran died. Nearly a week had passed then. He picked up the spoon and brought it to his lips. Miri sat on his right drumming her small feet into the sofa. Merrin on his left drawing patterns into the seat. He suddenly realized that things could have gone very badly at Bracca and he didn’t think he could have lived with himself if they had. 

After he ate he and Merrin showed Miri to where she would sleep. Then the went to his room after letting her know if she needed anything to come get them. Cal collapsed against his cot. Merrin lay next him. He fingers found his hair almost as if they were magnetized to it. He quickly relaxed against her touch. She was still wearing his poncho. His fingers rubbing the material. His hand eventually came to rest on her stomach and his head on her shoulder. 

“Do you remember on Dathomir when we first met.” He smiled at her words.

“I don’t think I could ever forget, why?” She fidgeted slightly.

“I am sorry for my harsh words then.” He chuckled at her apology

“I forgave you forever ago.” She smiled clearly relieved.

“I wish we had met on better terms. Then all of this could have begun much earlier.” She leaned in and kissed him. He let his hands caress her body 

“That would have been nice.” She smiled and began to say something when the door opened. Miri stood in the doorway holding the blanket they had rescued from Bracca 

“What’s wrong darling.” Merrin’s voice was full of maternal comfort. 

“My room is scary. Can I sleep with you.” Merrin looked at Cap and he gave the slightest nod. Merrin smiled at the little girl.

“Of course come one get in.” She stumbled forward to the edge of the bed. Cal reached over and picked her up. He placed her between himself and Merrin. She cuddled to Cal almost immediately which surprised him. 

“You’re warm.” She murmured against his chest. He smiled at Merrin who scooted closer to the two of them Cal began to stroke Miri’s head from the top all the way to the end of her head tails. She quickly began to fall asleep. He told the little girl goodnight and wished her sweet dreams Right before she lost consciousness she mumbled a final sentence. 

“Goodnight dad I love you.” Cal felt a spike of pain which was quickly replaced by a burning need to protect the child between Merrin and himself. He looked into the Nightsisters eyes. He knew she felt the same. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. When his eyes began to droop he let himself drift off knowing now that his nightmares wouldn’t brother him. He didn’t know why but he just felt it. 

He was sleeping he knew that much but he was in the Jedi temple. He hadn’t been her while sleeping. He was kneeling in a meditation room. There I front of him was a Jedi. He dark hair braided and gathered behind her. Her dark skin covered in lateral shadows from the blinds. Cere was kneeling in front of him.

“Keep them safe Cal. Live a life. Let go of those who are gone from your heart to make room for those who are still alive.” 

He tried to speak but she was fading fast, the whole temple was.

“You are strong Cal. You can keep them safe. I know it.” 

When he woke up bit much had changed from when he fell asleep. Miri was still wedged between himself and Merrin. The latter took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She looked at Cal and smiled before glancing down at the small Tholothian between them. 

“Cal, do you remember what we talked about on Saleucami?” Her voice was soft and full of joy. “About a family?” He smiled back at her. 

“Yeah I remember.” She giggled softly at his response.

“I think this is the start.” The thought made his heart swell with excitement. 

“I think you’re right Merrin.” 

...  
Aboard The Imperial Class Star Destroyer Devastator  
...

Karish stood stiff and sweating. The right part of his face was covered in thick backs padding. He was still recovering from the slash from the Jedi when he was called to the Infamous flagship of Darth Vader. Next to him was the Seventh Sister she looked calm and collected. Except for the barely noticeable shake in her hands. Anyone else wouldn’t have noticed it. Still even half blinded he was very perceptive. 

Suddenly the door behind them opened and they froze. A deep voice mechanized and cold.

“It seems, once again you have failed to capture the rebels.” Karish wanted to say that he had killed one. But he knew it was pointless and would only enrage the dark lord further. 

“Those who fail me do not stand in my favor.” Karish felt beads of sweat running freely down his face and body. Soaking into the bandages around his eye. 

“Still perhaps I have been too expectant of you.” He nearly let out a sigh of relief at the words.

“It seems my faith has been misplaced.” He held his hand up and Karish’s throat became to close up. At first he thought it was nerves. However it closed even further to the point he couldn’t breath. He grabbed his throat trying to free it from the invisible hold that surrounded it. His feet lifted from the ground and he was thrust into the steel grip of Vader.

“Seventh Sister you will be reassigned. These Jedi will be killed eventually, but not by you.” Karish’s vision grew dark. He kicked his legs desperate for air he felt the blood vessels in his useable eye popping. Then at an impossibly strong squeeze he felt his windpipe collapse. He was dropped to the ground as he suffocated. He watched the Seventh Sister turn sharply and walk out of the room. Everything went black but he still heard the clicking of her boots on the highly polished floor, he tasted the blood in his mouth. Then that went away and the only thing he had connecting him to the living world was the deep even mechanical breathing. That and a sense of pure terror as he slowly died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vader is a spooky bitch. Also what do you think about Karish and his POV


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of this story thank you all for being so patient and I’m hoping to continue with other stories in the future check out Imperial Protocol I think you guys will like it

When Cal awoke he silently sslipped out of the bed and left his room. He heard soft voices coming from inside the main area of the ship. He stepped silently into the kitchen. Sitting on the couch near the holomap was Greez and Siv. 

“I don’t know what to do with her gone. She always knew where to go and what to do.” Cal couldn’t help but agree with the Latero. 

“It won’t be the same without her, but we’ll find a way, it’s what she would want.”

Greez nodded and slowly stood up his legs had the slightest hint of a tremble but he nodded to himself and waddled to the cockpit.

Siv stood and made his way towards the back of the ship rubbing his face as he walked. Cal grabbed his shoulder as he was about to pass by him. Siv stopped.

“Did I say the right thing? You know Greez better than I do.” Cal nodded and Siv relaxed as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“That’s a relief, how’s the kid holding up?”

“I think she’ll be okay but it’s hard to tell she’s been through a lot.”

Siv nodded slowly and then bid Cal a goodnight before opening his door. Cal could see the silouette of Zara collapsed on the bed before the door closed. 

As he returned to his now cramped cabin he stopped at the desk. Laid on the workbench was his old scrapper poncho. He ran his finger across it, suppressing his psychometry came easier than before, the dark painful memories had been illuminated by the love in his life. He looked at the two girls sleeping in his bed, he had to protect them, Laymiri still had so much brightness in her, he didn’t want her to be like he and Merrin, broken scrambling to put themselves back together only realizing they couldn’t find some of the pieces. He wanted her to have a life. A good one. 

He gently woke up Merrin careful not to disturb the little girl in her arms. He lead her out of the room as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. He stopped at Siv and Zara’s room and knocked gently on the door. It opened almost immediately to reveal both of the former Jedi. He gestured for them to follow him and continued toward the cockpit.

“Greez?” The Lateron turned towards the sound of his name his eyes were red.

“What’s up Kid?” 

“We need to talk, all of us.” The pilot nodded and joined them near the holomap.

“What if we stopped running?” The words sounded fantastical to him he had never really believed it would happen. 

“What do you mean? The empire is still after us it would be suicide.” 

“I mean what if we found some planet the empire wouldn’t even check. We could hide there. We could have a life.”

“It will be hard to find a planet the empire wouldn’t check.” 

“I know of a place.” Everyone turned toward Greez. “It’s a bit of a back water, low tech but also extremely low profile, pace called Sorgan, the empire would never check there, and the locals wouldn’t say a word.”

“Cal why do you suddenly want to stop running.” Siv’s voice said he already knew the answer but Cal said it anyway.

“I can’t put Miri in danger like I’ve put all of you in danger. Besides I’ve been wanting to settle down for a while ever since Saleumcemi.” Merrin grabbed his hand and smiled at him remembering their conversation on the roof of the barn.

“I can bring you there Cal, and if you don’t mind I’d line to join you.” Greez sounded a little nervous afraid Cal might say no.

“Of course Greez we’d love you to stay with us.” 

Greez friend towards the other two Jedi. “You guys can even take the ship since we won’t be needing it anymore.” Siv and Zara shared a look before Siv spoke.

“No need Zara and I have been talking about this too, we both agree.” Cal couldn’t help the smile that covered his face

“Captain, set a course for Sorgan.” 

——————————————  
Sorgan   
——————————————

It had only been a few weeks since they had arrived on Sorgan, they had built a house for all six of them. Miri had accepted Cal and Merrin as her parents and loved them both already. Greez took the form of a surrogate grandfather who treated the kid like a princess. Siv has told Cal that he and Zara were trying to have kids. They all still had their demons, but on this tiny planet with just each other, they seemed so far away. And so as cal lay in bed with Merrin and Laymiri. He realized he was happy, truly happy he was surrounded by people he loved and they were all safe. He didn’t know a way to express that to Merrin but he did the next best thing. He grabbed her hand and told her that he loved her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys This has been an amazing journey and I’ll miss making it, i had some different plans for the ending but I just couldn’t put them through that they’ve gone through so much already I wanted them to have a happy ending I really hope you guys enjoyed the story, thanks for putting up with my spelling errors and grammar mistakes love you all!


End file.
